Our kids are under more pressure than ever, and mental health problems are becoming more prevalent. How can we protect them?
None of us likes to think of anxiety or depression impacting our children, especially at a young age. Yet sadly, a recent study has found that one in six children aged seven to 16 are now likely to have a mental health problem, with that figure rising to one in four in teens aged between 17 and 19.
Dr Gordon Milson, Consultant Clinical Psychologist at Pennine Care NHS Foundation Trust’s Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) in Stockport says: ‘Adolescence is tough at the best of times, but recent difficulties, such as a steep increase in educational pressures, the social impact of the pandemic, the cost-of-living crisis, the ease of online bullying, as well as all the usual challenges teens have to navigate, mean we are seeing more children needing help for difficulties such as anxiety and depression.’
So, what can we do to help?
Dr Milson says: ‘We can’t always solve everything for our children, but we can try to support them in building positive self-esteem and fostering a sense of resilience during difficult times. Often people think of resilience as a character trait, but it’s actually something that’s grown, developed and nurtured through our interactions with the important people in our lives. And we can play an important role in this process.’
Here, he explores how…
Help them value their strengths
‘Not everyone’s strengths are the same. Instead of letting your teen define their achievements by academic success, make a list with them of all the other areas they excel in. Perhaps they’re great at sport, acting, or are a really kind, caring person? Building on these can be great for helping them to see the wider picture and for boosting their self-esteem.’
Empower them to problem-solve
‘Don’t instantly problem-solve for your teen or tell them where they’ve gone wrong. Instead, ask their views. Welcome their ideas and thoughts on how to solve a problem and then help them build on these. By asking: “What do you think you need to do?” you’re supporting them, while empowering them to solve the situation for themselves.’
Encourage engagement and effort over achievement
‘Reward effort and how engaged your teen is with their learning, over success. If children feel engaged in education and valued in that setting, this helps foster a feeling of resilience to pressure and stress. By telling your child: “You’re a kind, hard-working person — things are going to go OK”, we can help to relieve some of that pressure.’
Help build healthy lifestyle habits
‘When it comes to resilience, a healthy brain encourages a healthy mind. So anything parents can do to help support their teen to eat more healthily, exercise more often and develop better sleep habits will help. When teens are up late on phones, they struggle to function well at school. Tired out, they then come home needing a nap, which means they’re not tired in the evenings, so they stay up late again and the cycle perpetuates. Just helping them to break bad habits like this can make a huge difference.’
Model good communication skills and resilience
‘Feeling valued, understood and supported is paramount in positive emotional development, so good communication at home is key. As parents, it’s important that we talk about difficult feelings and model good communication skills. It’s not about our teens thinking that we never cry or feel overwhelmed, but more showing how we cope and respond in those situations. For example, saying: “Sorry I shouted at you earlier. It wasn’t you, I’m just feeling stressed. I might go for a run to see if that helps”, might inspire your teen to manage stress the same way.’
Build their support network
‘Young people can often feel quite isolated, even within friendship groups. It can be helpful to encourage interests and friendships outside school to help develop self-esteem, wellbeing, and foster a sense of belonging. If a child feels encouraged, valued and liked, these connections enhance their feelings of resilience. Most importantly, if your child is struggling, never hesitate to seek support for them — whether that’s seeking additional support from therapeutic services in school, voluntary sector organisations in the local area or CAMHS.’
For more info, please visit penninecare.nhs.uk/camhs