If you haven’t been intimate for a while, trying to rekindle your sexual relationship can be daunting. So try these four steps and learn to enjoy sex again
- Don’t start with sex. A lot of sexual anxieties stem from the feeling that any kind of sensual touch will have to lead to full sex. This can create a strong association between sex and having to ‘perform’, which puts some of us off sex entirely. Applying a temporary ‘ban’ on sex can help to remove this anxiety, so you can focus on enjoying being intimate again.
- Take very small steps. This could mean just touching or kissing more. You might like to try giving each other massages or holding hands. That way, you can rediscover how to enjoy being sensual in a pressure-free way.
- Introduce more intimate acts such as lingering kisses. Do this at a pace that’s comfortable for both of you.
- Eventually move on to intimate touching, but leave full sex off the menu — only put it back on the list of options when you’ve both agreed you’re ready.
For relationship advice, visit relate.org.uk