Over the past year, Take a Break Voices has introduced you to some new friends. This week nurse, chandler, author and champagne lover, Liz Forbes- Stobbe, 58, from Essex, talks about living her best life in her 50s.
As another birthday rolls around, here I am, at 58, still having fun and feeling like I’ve never really grown up! I might be approaching 60, but for me, that’s cause for celebration, as I sit in my garden, raise a glass of champagne and reflect back on my life. They say life begins at 40. If that’s true, then I’m certainly enjoying my teenage years. I’ve never subscribed to the idea that you are ‘too old’ to do something — too old to change, too old to set new goals, too old to find love again, too old to make new friends.
It’s utter rubbish. You’re never ‘too old’ to do whatever it is you want to do. As we age, we have to continue to grasp life, even if you think it’s passed you by. It’s never too late to try something different and push yourself out of your comfort zone. In fact, it’s more important than ever to keep embracing life and making positive adjustments. Seek out the people and things that keep you young and vibrant.
I have a wonderful niece who does just that, and I’ve spent many an hour with her, dancing, dressing up and doing our make-up. These are the times that remind me to enjoy every moment and keep having fun. After all, even now, I still love wearing make-up and getting dressed up. Sometimes you can feel stuck in a rut. But age isn’t to blame. It may just be time to evaluate your life and shake things up, whether it’s a change of job, starting a new business or embracing new hobbies. I always think of the famous Yoko Ono quote: ‘Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90. Time is a concept that humans created.’
I’m lucky to have a great network of friends and I enjoy social media, so I always feel connected. Even when we were in lockdown, I never felt isolated. I was brought up with a strong sense of community connections and believe positive relationships keep me feeling young.
I recently bumped into a woman who I used to cross paths with through work. She told me: ‘I miss your laughter and your smile.’ It warmed me to know that’s the impression I made, as I think it’s important to bring positivity to the lives of people you meet when you’re out and about your daily life. Being friendly with neighbours, finding clubs or groups where you can make new friends, or joining local community Facebook groups are all ways to reach out to people. It’s connecting and forming relationships with others that keeps a spring in your step.
Spending time with people you enjoy being around keeps you feeling young. I surround myself with those who make me laugh, who I can go for coffee, lunch, or a walk with, or share a few cheeky glasses of fizz.
As a woman in this stage of my life, I’ve learnt that it’s important to take time to listen to myself. It’s about mindfulness and trusting my gut feelings. Having some quiet time and tuning out from all the noise about what’s expected of someone my age helps me to feel grounded. Growing older has helped me to understand the importance of living in the moment. I forgive myself and don’t hold on to regrets. I think: I didn’t know different then. But I know different now.
Regret doesn’t solve anything in the here and now, and we all make mistakes. I don’t think of myself as old, just experienced. When people use the word ‘old’, it’s always with negative connotations. But if you switch the word to ‘experienced’, it becomes a positive thing. That’s all that’s needed — a change in mindset. Whatever age you are, you’re allowed to make mistakes. You can still take chances and explore opportunities. I will never let society and preconceived ideas of ageing stand in my way of making my life exactly what I want it to be.
Until next time, Liz x
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