Update your mental health toolbox with techniques the experts swear by…
It’s no surprise that with everything that’s been going on over the past two years, our worry levels are at an all-time high.
But in a world where so much is out of our control, how can we manage our worrying?
Dr Meg Arroll, a chartered psychologist and ambassador for wellbeing brand Healthspan,
says: ‘It’s normal to have worries. They aren’t the enemy. The key is to manage them and not let them take over your life.’
Here’s how…
The worry tree
‘When we’re caught in a worry cycle, it can be useful to have something visual to turn to. Write down your worry and ask yourself: ‘Is there something I can do about it?’
‘If you answered “no”, draw a branch down that says: Let the worry go. Distract myself.
‘If the answer was “yes”, draw a branch down that says: What will my specific action plan be?
‘Once you have your action plan, draw branches to either: Do now, then let the worry go, or: Schedule plan, and distract self until you can action the plan.
‘By distinguishing whether the worry’s a rational problem or something more hypothetical, you can determine whether you need a practical solution or to simply divert your attention elsewhere.’
What distracts you?
‘Whether it’s getting your heart rate up with a jog, or devouring a good book, when you have worries you can’t take any action over, find a distraction technique that works best for you.
‘My favourite is music. I often ask my patients to make a playlist of songs that trigger positive emotions in them. Research shows that triggering these positive emotions not only helps our wellbeing, but also helps halt these more negative loop-based thoughts.’
Keep a ‘nearly missed it’ log
‘The difficulty with worries is the misunderstanding that thinking about every difficult outcome is going to help. It might feel like a useful coping mechanism, but it’s just a way of embedding an unhelpful thought pattern.
‘Instead, I ask people to keep something I call a “nearly missed it” log.
‘I ask them to write down all the tiny things they’ve noticed from their day that have
positively impacted their emotional state — the sound of birds or the smell of freshly cut grass — things you wouldn’t have noticed if you’d been too distracted worrying. Only when we’re living in the present can we see all the tiny things that make life joyful.’
Question your worries
‘Imagining the worst-case scenario doesn’t make us more able to cope or worry less — it just leaves us more stressed.
‘The next time you find yourself catastrophising ask yourself: What’s the evidence for
this? How rational is this thought? How likely is it to happen and is this thought pattern helpful?
‘Reviewing this is much more useful than putting your body and mind through the motions of an upsetting experience that may not even play out.’
Keep a diary
‘If you’re worrying a lot, monitor if there’s anything else that could be increasing those feelings. Write down your caffeine intake, sugar intake, whether you exercised, drank enough water and how well you slept. Getting things down on paper is a really good way to connect the dots. You might suddenly go: “Oh actually, I did have three cups of coffee that morning — no wonder my mind was racing”.’
Set a timer
‘It’s not useful to be told not to worry. Instead, get a timer and allocate yourself 10-15 minutes a day to focus on your worries. That way, when intrusive thoughts pop into your mind throughout the day, you can just nudge them away, knowing you’ve set time aside to deal with them later.’
**Write a letter from your future self
**‘Another good exercise is to compose a letter from a future self who is no longer consumed with worries. What would a future self say about their day? What’s the first thing they do every morning? Do they go for a walk or do some yoga? What do they eat for breakfast? Who are they with and what emotions are they experiencing? Then my question would be: ‘What’s stopping you from living that life now? Generally, there are fewer barriers than people think.’
Edited by Stephanie May