I knew I was different and an old newspaper article led me on a decades-long search to find the truth. By Jessica Flores, 34
While my mum Julie nattered away at the school gates, I couldn’t help but overhear what her friend said.
‘Who’s her real mum, then?’ she asked.
I didn’t hear what my mum said in reply, but at four years old, the comment left me feeling confused.
My parents Julie and Ray had always told me that I
was adopted. But I was still too young to understand what that meant.
I just knew that I was different. My distinctive red hair obviously hadn’t come from either of them.
But it was only during
my teenage years that it clicked, and I realised Julie hadn’t given birth to me.
We had such a close relationship, so to realise
she wasn’t related to me
was devastating.
Then, when I was 17,
Julie sat me down.
‘Would you like to find your birth mum?’ she asked.
I took a few minutes to think, then I said, ‘No.’
I was too scared of opening up that can of worms.
Then one evening, events took a turn.
I got home way past my curfew after being out at a party, and Dad shouted,
‘You don’t respect the rules of this house!’
‘I’m old enough to do what I want!’ I shouted back.
Suddenly, he turned to Mum.
‘Julie, get her folder,’ he instructed.
Mum left the room, and minutes later she came back clasping a white folder.
'I'm old enough to do what I want'
She handed it over, and I saw that it contained all the paperwork they had about my adoption.
There was my birth certificate, and countless pages with notes detailing my development as a toddler.
But there was also an old newspaper article.
Hours-old infant left near quarry, read the headline.
As I read on, it felt like my world was crumbling around me.
The baby in the article was me.
I had to read it again to take it all in.
It explained that a newborn baby had been found abandoned for six hours,
with a shoelace still attached to the umbilical cord.
The sunburnt infant was found wrapped in a blue blanket in bushes near a business complex, it read.
Dropping the folder, I
burst into tears and ran up
to my bedroom.
I couldn’t believe they’d kept this from me.
The thought that my birth mother had discarded me like a bag of rubbish made me feel sick.
She’d left me to die.
The article mentioned I’d been found by a construction worker called Isaac who had heard my cries. He had saved my life.
But there were so many details I didn’t know, and
I had so many questions.
It was all too overwhelming and I shut myself off, none of us speaking about it again.
A week later, I turned 18. And soon after, I fell pregnant and had a baby of my own.
Being a mum kept me busy, and I pushed all thoughts of the newspaper article to the back of my mind.
But then I split with my baby’s dad, and went on to get engaged to a new man called Eddie.
He encouraged me to find out about my genes.
‘It would be good to know,’ I agreed.
So that Christmas, he gave me an Ancestry DNA kit.
I was so keen to get answers, that I sent my saliva sample off that day.
Six weeks later, my phone pinged with an email containing the results.
As I read them, I was astounded. I was 25 per cent Spanish, mixed with other nationalities.
The next page showed my DNA matches.
‘These must be my relatives,’ I said, in shock.
Not knowing where to start, I found a Facebook group called Search Squad that could help me get in touch with my biological family.
'He'd never have let that happen'
I put up a post, and a few minutes later a woman called Dara messaged me.
I’m a DNA analyst and I’d love to help you, she wrote.
She was what adoptees called a Search Angel.
I gave her my number and two days later, she called me with some news.
‘I can put you in touch with your biological dad’s brother, and some cousins on his side,’ she said.
I couldn’t believe it.
I soon found them all on Facebook and sent them a message.
Hi, you don’t know me, but I was adopted and I think we’re related, I messaged.
But Dara had some more news for me.
‘I’m afraid to say your
birth dad recently passed away,’ she said.
I was devastated that I’d never got to meet him.
But there was someone
else who could give me the answers I desperately needed – my birth mum.
However, I wasn’t sure I wanted to find her, because
I still harboured resentment and anger towards her.
Then, just as I was due to give birth to another child, Dara called me.
‘I know who your mum is,’ she said. ‘She has two other children. Would you like to see her?’
I wasn’t sure about that, but I wanted to at least see a picture.
Dara gave me the details and, when I found her on Facebook, I couldn’t believe the resemblance.
So that’s where I get my red hair from, I thought.
With nothing to lose, I messaged her.
Then Dara put me in touch with two of my siblings on my dad’s side – my half-sister Nicole
and brother David.
After messaging
them, it was clear they had no idea that their dad had fathered another child. He hadn’t known about me.
If he’d have known,
he’d never have let that happen to you, Nicole
wrote, after I told her I
had been abandoned.
In time, we decided to meet up. And, as we walked towards each other, we
burst into tears.
‘I didn’t want you to think you weren’t wanted,’ Nicole cried, as she pulled me in
for a hug.
It was surreal to have siblings, because I was an only child growing up.
They had two other brothers I was yet to meet, and I had six nieces and nephews too.
Two days later, I got together with them and my own children. Seeing my family all together brought tears to my eyes.
Soon after, I found Isaac, the man who’d rescued me.
We met up along with
the detective who’d been involved at the time, a man named Glen.
‘I always wondered if you were OK,’ Isaac said.
‘I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you,’ I told him.
We even drove to the area where I’d been abandoned.
Seeing the bushes my mum had left me in was a strange feeling. I’d come full circle.
Eventually, my birth mum replied to my message and we spoke on the phone.
She told me that she was 24 when she had me, and had been addicted to drugs.
She’d had a one-night stand with my dad. She said she’d been too scared to tell her family she’d fallen pregnant, and had abandoned me to keep her secret hidden.
Although she apologised, we didn’t have the mother-daughter connection I’d hoped for.
It was a lot to take in, and
I just tried to move on with my life.
Then, four years later, I got an email from Ancestry, which revealed that I had a new DNA match for a man on my mum’s side.
I got in touch with him on Facebook, and what he told me shocked me to my core.
I was abandoned by my birth mum as a baby, he explained.
We were half-siblings.
He was born 15 months before me, and our birth mum had left him in an unlocked car.
Like me, he’d been adopted, and grew up an only child.
We still haven’t met in person, but I’m looking forward to that day.
The decades of searching for my birth family has
been a rollercoaster, but
it’s been worth it to finally get answers.