Luana had met someone new. But she couldn’t bear her children to be kept from their dad — was there a solution?
As I sipped my wine, my boyfriend James grinned, and I knew what he was about to say.
‘So,’ he said. ‘Will you marry me?’
I rolled my eyes.
‘Only if you do it properly,’ I told him.
A few weeks later, he took me to a restaurant and pulled out a ring.
‘How about now?’ he asked, smiling.
‘Go on then,’ I replied.
We planned to have a quick wedding, but something got in our way.
‘I’m pregnant,’ I spluttered to James.
I was told I wouldn’t be able to have children naturally after being diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome, but the doctors had got it wrong.
Though it was a shock, we were delighted. Months later, I gave birth to a little girl, Seren.
Once she was born, we married.
Shortly after, I fell pregnant again. I gave birth to another daughter, Electra.
For the next eight years we had a great family life, but over time I started to feel unfulfilled.
I knew I wanted more out of life, but wasn’t sure what — so I started making changes to find out.
First, I set up my own business online. Then my attentions turned to my marriage.
I realised that I still loved James, but not in the same way I had done.
Then one night he sat me down.
‘Have you noticed we’re more like friends these days?’ he asked.
Flooded with relief, I nodded.
‘I’ve been feeling the same,’ I told him.
We talked it over and agreed we should separate, but that we’d keep living in the same house — for the sake of the children.
‘Mummy and Daddy are just friends now,’ I told them.
Both took it well.
We moved into separate bedrooms, but ate dinner and watched TV together, like a normal family.
Five months later, I had a friend who had been made homeless, so I invited her to come and stay with us.
Straightaway, she and James hit it off.
One night she had a confession.
‘I can’t stop thinking about your husband,’ she told me.
I wasn’t fazed. Perhaps some women would have felt jealous. But James and I had had a clean break — we hadn’t tried to get physical with each other, and I didn’t even fancy him any more.
‘You should go for it,’ I encouraged.
So, she did.
They got together and I was happy for them, but I realised something.
I was beginning to lose sight of who I was. I needed to find myself again.
I wanted to go somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no distractions.
That’s when our friend Al, who’d moved to Portugal and was living in the wilderness, came to mind.
He was James’s best friend.
He’d bought land out there and was building an eco-home on it.
I messaged him and he said he’d be thrilled to see me. I booked a flight and a guest house near to where Al was camping.
When I arrived, we met for a drink.
As soon as he walked into the bar, my face flushed red.
He was much more attractive than I’d remembered. I couldn’t stop staring at him.
Sparks flew, and after a few too many, we kissed.
When we finally pulled away, we looked at each other in shock.
‘Where did that come from?’ I asked.
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘But I’ll have to speak to James before anything else happens.’
I agreed he should call him, so he did.
‘I don’t know how to say this,’ Al stuttered over the phone. ‘I certainly didn’t plan it, but I’ve got feelings for Luana.’
Thankfully, James was fine with it.
‘He said to go for it,’ Al told me.
With James’s blessing, we enjoyed the rest of our time together.
We laid down the rules.
‘I want to enjoy being single — I don’t want a relationship,’ I told him.
‘Fine by me,’ Al said.
When the time came for me to go home, we said our goodbyes. As far as we were both concerned, that was it.
Back home, I spoke to James about what happened.
‘I was half expecting it,’ he told me.
‘And you really don’t mind?’ I asked.
‘Not at all,’ he said.
I told him it was over. But when the words came out, they stung.
Over the next few days, I found myself missing Al.
Confused by how I felt, I wanted to speak to him. But where he was camped, there was no signal.
The nearest village was a two-and-a-half-hour walk away and he only went there once a week.
There was only one way of knowing what to do…
I booked a flight and messaged him. Luckily, he got the messages before I landed.
He came to meet me.
‘I’ve really missed you,’ I said. ‘But I don’t want to be in a relationship.’
‘I couldn’t be with someone like you anyway,’ he told me.
‘What do you mean?’ I yelled, getting defensive.
It felt like he’d just stabbed me in the heart.
‘You don’t want to be with me,’ he told me.
‘I don’t think that’s actually true,’ I said.
Suddenly, the barriers we’d both been putting up came crashing down.
We let go of fear and gave in to our feelings.
The next day, I went to view a house and signed for it.
I then called James.
‘I’m moving to Portugal,’ I said. ‘Would you like to move here too?’
Like me, he wanted to keep our family together.
‘OK,’ he said. ‘Let’s do it.’
I came back to the UK to get the girls and told them about Al.
‘That’s cool you’ve got two boyfriends,’ Seren said.
I laughed.
‘No, Daddy and I are just friends, remember?’ I said.
The girls and I flew to Portugal the following week, with just a couple of suitcases, and moved into the house with Al.
James stayed behind to sort out the sale of the house and joined us six months later.
When he finally arrived, the girls ran straight into his arms.
‘Daddy!’ they screamed in unison.
He then hugged me and Al next.
‘It’s so good to see you,’ he said to Al.
There were no hard feelings at all.
Over the next year we all lived together in the same house.
It wasn’t always easy.
There was a lot of letting go which was hard and painful, but we all focused on the future, and we made it work.
It was only when James was offered a job back home, he decided to move back.
It was double the money he was on in Portugal and for less hours, so it made sense.
‘I’ll visit all the time,’ he promised.
But then the Covid pandemic struck.
I couldn’t bear the thought of the girls not being able to see their dad.
‘I’m going to have to move back,’ I told Al. ‘I’ll understand if you want to stay here.’
‘I’ll trade sunshine for love,’ he told me.
We moved to Wales, near Bangor, to be near my family. By then, James’s relationship with my friend had fizzled out, but he had a new partner.
However, he still came to stay with Al, me and the kids at least once a month for the weekend — his girlfriend didn’t mind.
Then a year later, I had a surprise for James.
‘Al and I are expecting,’ I told him.
He burst out laughing.
‘I thought you weren’t having any more children,’ he said.
‘So did I,’ I replied.
‘I’m really happy for you both,’ he told me.
I gave birth to a baby boy, Celyn, giving the girls a brother, which they were thrilled about.
Now James and I are in the last stages of our divorce.
When it finally comes through, we’re going to have a joint divorce party.
It will be a celebration of the successful marriage we had, our two amazing children, and our continued friendship into the future.
Luana Ribeira, 40, Llangefni, Anglesey