Stephanie and her fella loved a Chinese takeaway, but just where was he sticking his spring roll?
A figure stood on the doorstep, his face totally hidden.
But then he poked his head around the huge bouquet of flowers, and shot me a sexy smile.
‘For my gorgeous girl,’ my boyfriend Terry, 33, grinned, handing me a dozen red roses, then leaning in for a kiss.
‘Talk about the princess treatment,’ I giggled leading him inside.
Although we’d seen each other around town for years, we’d only been dating a few months — after Terry got chatting to me over Facebook.
And ever since, it was like he couldn’t do enough for me.
One week I got flowers every single day, and he showered me with gifts — including a £350 coat.
But more importantly, he was really caring, and properly listened if ever I wanted to offload my worries.
A single mum to three kids under 13, I wasn’t going to just introduce them to any old bloke — but they’d warmed to Terry straightaway.
Over those next weeks, Terry and me only grew closer.
We got into a little loved-up ritual once a week of nipping to the Chinese takeaway round the corner, and treating ourselves to salt ’n’ pepper chips, Chicken Chow Mein and prawn balls.
One night, as everyone tucked in, I looked at Terry and thought: It doesn’t get better than this.
Everything was perfect — except one thing that kept gnawing away in my head.
His ex — Jess.
For as long as I’d known of Terry, they’d been together, and she had a reputation for being mouthy and ready to go off at the drop of a hat.
‘She’s history, Stef,’ Terry had reassured me, saying he’d ended things before we got together.
But I still didn’t like the idea of bumping into her on a dark night.
Turned out, my instincts were right.
Just a few weeks later, Terry and I were polishing off our weekly takeaway, when his phone beeped with a text.
As he read the message, I watched his face turn ashen.
‘She’s found out about us…’ he gulped.
It was Jess the ex, and what she’d written sent a shiver down my spine.
Where’s that **** Stef? She’d written. I’m gonna wipe the floor with her!
A knot of dread twisted in my belly.
‘Why the hell is she having a go at me?’ I asked, as Terry nervously pushed his noodles away. ‘You told me it was over between you two!’
He squeezed my hand.
‘It is…’ he insisted. ‘She just won’t take no for an answer.’
Jess was scary, and I started to worry about what she’d do to me.
‘You should have told me she was still after you,’ I said.
I felt so stupid for thinking I’d finally found a bloke with no baggage!
For the rest of the night Terry swore blind that he wasn’t leading her on — and the best thing to do was ignore her.
But she kept texting him, slating me.
'She's found out about us'
It was really unsettling and a few weeks later, I decided to leave Terry round mine, and pop to the shops to take my mind off things.
I had a wander round town and then nipped into Boots, buying myself a new lippie to cheer me up.
Then I drove home. But as I turned into my road, I got the shock of my life.
A woman was stood on the pavement, screaming up at my front bedroom window.
‘Where is she?’ she was shrieking, ‘I’m gonna finish her!’
I recognised her immediately — Jess.
Feeling sick to my stomach, I tried to keep my cool.
Thinking fast, I looked straight ahead and drove right on past her, praying she hadn’t spotted me.
Then, just as I parked up nearby, Terry sent a text warning me Jess was outside my house.
I’ve escaped over the back fence, he added.
After laying low for another half hour, I went back home, relieved the coast was finally clear and the kids had been at school.
But over those next weeks, I was convinced Terry wasn’t quite telling me the whole truth.
Now as we chomped down on our sweet ’n’ sour, instead of feeling loved up, I was beginning to smell a rat.
‘I just don’t understand why she’s still hounding you,’ I told him for the umpteenth time.
And this time he finally cracked…
‘OK, I have slept with her a few times since we got together,’ he shrugged. ‘But only because she won’t stop badgering me!’
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!
All the time we were having our cosy takeaways, he was secretly jiggling his prawn balls at her!
‘You make me sick!’ I raged. ‘Just get out! Go!’
‘I’m so sorry,’ he started. ‘It won’t happen again. It was a mistake, love…’
He almost wore me down.
But after a few weeks of back and forth, I decided to call it a day — for good. I didn’t need the hassle, and I wasn’t going to be second best to anyone.
Only Terry wasn’t having it.
He bombarded me with texts, telling me he wanted me back, then begging for forgiveness.
So, I blocked his number.
And I did get a few days of peace and quiet. But not for long.
Soon after, I came back from the shops, then pottered around downstairs, before heading up to get changed.
But when I pushed open my bedroom door, I got the shock of my life.
Terry was fast asleep in my bed, snoring away like a trumpet!
‘Get out!’ I shrieked horrified, shaking him awake, and relieved he still had his kecks on!
‘I want you back, Stef,’ he babbled, as I finally got my keys off him, and ordered him firmly out of the house.
It left me really shaky.
'I'll wipe the floor with her!'
But he wasn’t done, yet.
Not long after, I opened the door one morning, and sniffed a familiar smell.
Then I gasped as I clocked the Chinese takeaway smeared all over my front door, with two portions of salt ’n’ pepper chips plonked on the doorstep, and more chips scattered all over our pathway.
‘Terry!’ I screeched.
It could have only been him.
It was his way of giving me the middle finger, by taunting me with the meal we’d enjoyed so often when we were an item.
Well, he was out of luck.
What with this, the unwanted texts, and him sneaking into my house — I had no choice.
I got a restraining order against him.
Thankfully, today he’s well and truly out of my life.
I’ve no idea if him and Jess are back together — but she’s welcome to the lad.
I’ve got myself a lovely new man, and now he’s the one I’m slurping down noodles with.
He’s low mein-tenance and treats me so well.
Finally, I’ve bagged myself a prawn cracker!
Stephanie Briggs, 31, East Riding, Yorkshire