When my new boyfriend started calling me by another girl’s name, I grew suspicious. But the truth was stranger than I could have ever imagined… By Carly Burke, 24
As my phone buzzed on the kitchen worktop, I picked it up and smiled as I read the message.
It read: Hey, I think you’re beautiful.
I’d matched on a dating app with a guy named Chris.
In his profile picture, he wore a yellow shirt and chain necklace.
I thought: He’s handsome. Good jawline.
We started chatting online, and seemed to share the same values and sense of humour.
A week later, Chris suggested meeting up.
He sent a message with a winking emoji.
It read: I guess we’re dating now.
We lived an hour apart and he came to visit me.
Chris was as handsome in real life as he was in his picture.
He was wearing the gold chain around his neck, but now I noticed it had a locket attached.
We drove around, listening to music and getting to know each other.
'What's going on?'
Conversation flowed, and his impression of Cartman, my favourite character from the animated TV show South Park, had me in stitches.
‘You’re really gorgeous,’ he said, making me blush.
At the end of the date, Chris asked: ‘When would you want to meet my family?’
We’d only seen each other once. So I was a bit taken aback.
‘Um, I guess after a few months is normal,’ I replied.
But I went home feeling elated.
The following morning, Chris texted: Do you want to come over to my place?
I replied: Yes, that sounds great!
I drove to his home.
But when he answered the door, I was surprised to hear other voices inside the house.
He looked a little awkward.
‘My grandparents and brother are here,’ he said.
I’d expected to be alone with Chris, and felt caught off-guard.
When I met his family, his brother Doug kept staring at me.
It made me feel uncomfortable.
But I tried to brush it off.
In the days that followed, Chris texted a few times to tell me he’d bought me flowers.
Yet nothing arrived.
I assumed something had gone wrong with the delivery.
I didn’t want to come across as difficult or demanding.
So, I never mentioned it.
I told myself: It’s the thought that counts.
A month into our relationship, I was chatting to Chris on FaceTime and he started talking about how much he liked me.
‘You’re just so beautiful,’ he said.
I felt flattered.
Then he said: ‘I’m so glad I’m with you, Jessica.’
I fell silent.
Who the hell was Jessica?
Chris didn’t seem to realise what he’d said.
‘Who’s Jessica?’ I asked.
His face went rigid and he didn’t utter a word.
‘Are you cheating on me?’ I asked.
Chris looked shocked.
‘No,’ he said. ‘I promise you I’m not.’
'Don't say her name'
But he didn’t offer any explanation for calling me by another woman’s name.
A week later, it happened again.
And when he slipped up a third time, my suspicions grew.
I thought: I wonder if there’s a picture of this Jessica in that locket he always wears.
Chris and I had been together two months when I decided I couldn’t carry on without answers.
He’d rung his brother from my phone, so I had Doug’s number.
And I decided to call him.
‘I don’t know how to ask you this,’ I said. ‘But is your brother cheating on me with a girl named Jessica?’
There was a beat of silence.
‘Oh, God, no,’ said Doug. ‘He’s not cheating on you!’
‘Then what’s going on?’ I asked. ‘He keeps calling me Jessica.’
Doug told me he wasn’t sure it was his place to tell me.
‘I’m going to break up with him if I don’t get answers,’ I said. ‘This is too weird.’
‘OK, OK,’ he replied.
Then, with a heavy sigh, he began to explain.
‘So, about a year ago, Chris dated a girl named Jessica,’ he said. ‘They were in a car accident. Neither of them were driving, but she died.’
There was a pause.
Then Doug added: ‘You, well, you look exactly like her.’
My heart sank.
I didn’t know what to think.
Suddenly, I understood why Doug had stared at me when we’d first met.
Then, my brain began to make an unsettling connection.
The flowers! I thought.
I explained to Doug how Chris kept telling me he was sending me flowers, but they never turned up.
‘He takes flowers to her grave pretty regularly,’ Doug said.
‘Did he take them last Tuesday?’ I asked, as that was the last time Chris had told me he’d bought me flowers.
Doug’s silence told me all I needed to know.
It felt creepy.
‘Well you can’t be too surprised,’ Doug said. ‘Considering he wears that locket with a photo of her in it.’
I thought: I knew it! Jessica has been in there the whole time.
Curiosity got the better of me, and I asked Doug to send a picture of Jessica.
He reluctantly agreed.
When the picture pinged through on my phone, my eyes widened in shock.
There was no denying the striking resemblance.
Jessica and I had same face shape, hair and eye colour.
The only thing to set us apart was the small scar on my eyebrow.
Now, I understood why Chris had fallen for me so quickly.
I thought: It had nothing to do with me. It was all about her.
I sat and stared at the wall, a million thoughts racing through my mind.
Then, my phone buzzed with a message from Chris.
I read: Do you want to FaceTime later?
My hands were shaking as I texted back and arranged a call for later that evening.
I needed time to gather myself.
But later, when Chris called, he saw my face and knew something was wrong.
‘What’s up?’ he asked.
‘I’ve spoken to your brother,’ I replied. ‘I know about this Jessica situation.’
His face drained of colour.
‘Don’t say her name,’ he said, quietly.
A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed.
‘Are you dating me because I look like someone else?’ I asked.
‘Carly, I do actually really like you,’ he said. ‘You’re such a sweet person.’
‘But why did you message me in the first place?’ I asked.
Chris dropped his face into his hands and ran his fingers through his hair.
‘I think we should go our separate ways,’ I said.
Chris looked desperate.
‘I can’t lose you again,’ he said.
I thought: Oh my goodness, he’s still getting me mixed up with Jessica.
It felt disturbing, but also really sad.
I could see Chris was struggling to deal with his ex’s death.
But his actions had hurt me too.
I ended the relationship.
But in the days that followed, Chris would ring me and start chatting as though we were still together.
Eventually, I stopped answering his calls.
Now, I’ve moved on and I’m in a less complicated relationship.
I haven’t seen pictures of all my new boyfriend’s exes. But, this time, I’ve no doubt he likes me for being me!
• Chris and Doug’s names have been changed.