Tiffany’s proposal should have been the best day of her life. But in reality, it was the worst…
I was just getting in from work when my phone rang.
‘Hi, can you come over?’ said my friend James. ‘I’ve got food poisoning and I need some company.’
‘I’m on my way!’ I replied, my heart fluttering.
I’d been seeing James for about six months, and I was head over heels in love with him.
We had so much in common — from a shared love of salsa dancing to ambitious goals for our careers.
But our casual fling hadn’t yet developed into anything more.
James would postpone dates or take a while to respond to texts and so I didn’t push it.
When I arrived at his flat that day, he looked awful.
I packed away the shopping I’d brought him and helped him tidy the flat.
‘All right, I’ll head off,’ I said afterwards.
‘Wait, can you stay?’ he asked, taking my hand.
'I've never felt this way before'
‘Sure,’ I said. ‘Let’s watch some Netflix.’
We curled up on the sofa together and later that evening he asked me if I’d be his girlfriend.
‘I’d love to be,’ I told him.
From then on, we were officially dating.
My lease was up a few months later and he asked me to move in with him.
‘No need to pay rent,’ he said.
‘That’s such a sweet gesture,’ I replied. ‘Thank you so much!’
At first, our relationship was incredible.
We’d work out at the gym or go to dance classes together.
Both of us also loved rollercoasters and we often headed to theme parks together.
‘I’ve never felt this way about a guy before,’ I confessed to my friends.
They weren’t sure about him.
‘He seems a bit cold,’ said my best mate.
She just doesn’t know him like I do, I thought.
But after a year together a few red flags had started to appear.
Whenever he talked about his exes, he’d call them crazy.
And he’d use the fact I wasn’t paying rent to get his way.
‘I’ve given you somewhere to live,’ he’d say. ‘The least you can do is be grateful.’
I was shocked and hurt but I still loved him and wanted to make it work.
When we’d been together just over two years, we booked a night away at a theme park.
James really wanted to enter an open competition the park was hosting, so I waited in the park shop while he auditioned.
The event itself wasn’t until later that day, so we spent a few hours on the rides.
Then we headed over to the stage for the competition.
‘Will you film me?’ asked James, unlocking his phone and handing it to me.
'Christine has been texting you'
As I watched from the audience, the contestants took part in the challenges.
Each one was a different physical task, like hanging on to a rotating bar for as long as possible.
I really hope he wins, I thought to myself. He’ll be in such a bad mood if he doesn’t.
Then about midway through the competition, a message popped up on James’s phone screen.
Go ahead and marry her! She’s the safe, mundane choice, it read.
My heart stopped. The message was from ‘Christine’. That was the name of one of the exes James always called toxic.
Another message popped up.
This isn’t you, you’re going to regret it, it said. The sex is terrible now anyway. She can have you!
Messages kept coming through making it very clear he’d been sleeping with her.
Before I knew it, the competition had finished, and James was crowned as the winner.
‘I’m dedicating this win to my girlfriend,’ he told the crowd. ‘Who I’m proposing to tonight!’
I shut my eyes, desperately trying to figure out what to do.
This is the best and the worst moment of my life, I thought.
Everyone in the audience cheered and I was very grateful they didn’t shine a spotlight on me.
As the crowd filed out, I waited by the doors for him.
It wasn’t long till he joined me.
‘Look, I won this T-shirt!’ he said, pulling me in for a hug.
He chatted away about the competition and it took him five minutes to notice anything was wrong.
‘We need to go somewhere and talk,’ I told him, struggling to keep control of myself.
So we went to a nearby restaurant and sat down at a quiet table.
‘Christine has been texting you,’ I said. ‘I know you’ve seen sleeping with her.’
James didn’t miss a beat. He reached into his pocket and brought out a ring box.
Flicking it open, he revealed a diamond ring inside.
‘You’re the one with the ring though,’ he said.
I shook my head in disbelief.
‘That’s not going to cut it,’ I replied.
Seething with anger, I listened while he talked.
‘Christine’s angry with me because I ended it this morning,’ James said. ‘So really there’s nothing for you to be upset about.’
We were too far from home to go back that night, so we ended up sharing our hotel room in stony silence.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d discovered.
During our relationship, he often said he was going out to meet a recruiter.
Now I realised he’d probably been meeting Christine for sex.
The following day we drove home in silence, and I began thinking about the practicalities of leaving him.
Our lives were deeply linked, and I wondered if there was some way of making it work.
A few days after we got back, we’d been invited to a friend’s housewarming party.
Before we left, I fetched the engagement ring from his bedside table and slipped it on.
When James saw I was wearing it, he gave me a big smile and squeezed my hand.
At the party, it didn’t take long before my friends noticed the ring.
‘Wow, congratulations!’ said my best mate. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ she whispered in my ear.
If I told her the truth, I knew she’d hate him, so I shrugged the question off.
But over the next few weeks, I couldn’t forget what he’d done.
And he continued his controlling behaviour.
One day I had a realisation — even if he hadn’t cheated, he was still a horrible person to be around.
So I plucked up the courage to write him a letter, which I left on the kitchen counter for him to find, along with his engagement ring.
I was terrified of his reaction, but to my surprise he took it well.
We had a long talk and he agreed to move out, though he still didn’t apologise for cheating.
For a long time afterwards, I was completely heartbroken.
I was constantly nauseous, struggling to move past the betrayal.
One day, just five months later, I spotted a post from his account on Instagram.
He was dating a new girl and moving to another city with her.
Good luck to her, I thought to myself.
Then the following day, I received a message from James.
Hey, I’ve been thinking about you a lot, he said.
And he’d even attached some rude pics of himself!
It didn’t take me long to know what I had to do next.
I screenshotted his messages and sent them straight to his new girlfriend.
WTF? she texted back, almost at once.
We agreed to chat on the phone, but in the end, she decided to stay with him.
It was frustrating watching her make my mistake, but there was nothing I could do.
A few months later I saw through social media they were getting married.
And a year after that, they were divorced.
No one could say it wasn’t predictable!
Now I’m in a much better place than I was when I was with James.
Looking back, I can see he was a total narcissist.
I’m just glad that now I can spot the warning signs.
Tiffany Lyn Maldonado, 42