With time running out for Karen’s poorly little boy, someone close swooped in to save the day…
I watched my son Harvey giggle as he rode his toy tricycle along the hospital corridor.
He dodged IV stands and darted around monitors before coming to a stop in front of a group of nurses.
‘Harvey!’ they grinned. ‘Are you feeling better?’
He nodded while they fussed over him.
Harvey was a familiar face on the ward at Birmingham Children’s Hospital.
After being born at 37 weeks with kidney disease, doctors had feared he might not make it.
He also had a condition called posterior urethral valves, which meant he had trouble urinating.
As a result, Harvey had been constantly in and out of hospital his whole life.
At just two years old, Harvey had been through so much.
He’d missed his first birthday and Christmas due to a chest infection that left him on a ventilator, but despite everything his cheeky demeanour shone through.
I was a single mum as well as Harvey’s full-time carer.
It was full-on, but thankfully, my family were always on hand to support me, especially my older sister, Pam.
Pam’s son Rhys was just a year older than Harvey, and they were more like brothers than cousins.
Every weekend, Harvey and Rhys would have a Lego playdate while Pam and I had a cuppa and a chat.
‘I’m worried about Harvey’s future,’ I confided in Pam. ‘He’s missing out on so much. What if he never lives a normal life?’
‘He’s happy and that’s the main thing,’ Pam assured me.
A few weeks later Harvey became unwell, so we packed a bag and headed for the hospital.
Once we arrived, the consultant checked him over before calling me in for a meeting.
‘Harvey’s kidneys are failing, he’s going to need dialysis three times a week and we’re putting him on the transplant list,’ he said.
‘What?’ I gasped.
'I'm worried about Harvey's future'
The word ‘transplant’ sounded scary at first, but as the doctor explained the process, I realised a kidney transplant could be the answer to my worries.
It could help Harvey live a normal life.
‘But I must warn you, it could be a long wait,’ the doctor continued.
It turned out, the kidney would need to come from a donor with the same ethnic background as Harvey.
And unfortunately, there was a severe shortage of Asian donors in the UK.
But when I explained the situation to my family, they were eager to help.
‘What are you waiting for? Tell them I’ll donate a kidney,’ my mum demanded.
‘It’s not that simple,’ I sighed.
Family donors weren’t guaranteed to be a match, and besides, the testing process could take months.
But Mum refused to back down and was tested… Sadly, however, it turned out she wasn’t a match.
I’d have donated my own kidney in a heartbeat, but that wasn’t a possibility due to my own health problems.
Instead, we waited, praying for a call from the transplant team.
Meanwhile, Harvey and I got into a routine of attending dialysis three times a week at the hospital, and we got to know other patients and their parents well.
But slowly, the familiar faces became fewer, and I realised it was because they’d all had their transplants.
I looked around the room and noticed the children who’d been waiting the longest were all from an Asian background.
It felt so unfair.
'Mummy where am I?'
Each dialysis session took half a day, and with Harvey due to start school in September, I worried he would struggle to keep up while treatment was going on.
Meanwhile, more of the family underwent testing to see if they were a potential match for Harvey, but so far we’d had no luck.
Then, one day, I was at home when my phone rang.
It was Pam and she sounded ecstatic.
‘I’m a match!’ she said, breathlessly.
My eyes widened as she explained that her blood test had indicated her kidney might be a suitable match for Harvey.
But I knew not to get my hopes up just yet, as this was just the first hurdle.
Pam still needed more tests to confirm the transplant could go ahead, but two weeks later, doctors confirmed that her kidney hadn’t passed the antibody test.
A few months after that, however, I received another call from Pam.
‘They’ve had a second opinion and they want to do a kidney biopsy,’ she cried.
Pam’s test results were sent to a professor for analysis, and he’d decided that although the match wasn’t perfect, it was just about good enough for a transplant to go ahead.
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ I asked Pam the following day.
‘Definitely,’ she replied.
As Harvey was still so young, I decided not to explain the transplant until after he’d had it, instead telling him he was going into hospital for a sleepover.
The reality of what was happening hadn’t fully sunk in, until I got a call from my parents to tell me Pam had gone into theatre.
Thankfully the surgery was a success, and the next day my phone buzzed with a FaceTime call from Pam.
She’d just woken up and was still a little drowsy from the anaesthetic, but she was desperate to know how Harvey was doing.
‘Is he OK?’ she croaked.
‘He’s fine,’ I assured her.
‘It was all worth it then,’ she replied.
Pam was out of hospital six days later, but Harvey stayed in for three weeks to recover.
The first week was spent in intensive care and waking up there was difficult for Harvey.
‘Mummy, where am I?’ he cried.
But once we got him down to his regular ward with people he knew, he was as right as rain.
His recovery went well, and I explained what had happened to Harvey in a language that was easier for him to grasp.
‘Your kidney had been poorly and Auntie Pam had given you one of hers to replace it,’ I said.
His eyes lit up in awe.
He’s nicknamed his new kidney Mr Winky.
I’ll never be able to thank Pam enough for what she’s done for Harvey.
Her gift has changed his life.
He’s so lucky to have such a special auntie.
Karen Bahia, 35, Coventry, West Midlands
Pam told that’s life!: ‘Watching Harvey grow up, it felt so unfair that he couldn’t live life in the same way as my own son, so getting tested was an easy decision. Seeing the improvements in Harvey’s health since the transplant makes it all worth it. Becoming an organ donor is the best thing I’ve ever done and I’d encourage anyone who is able to, to give the gift of life.’
Learn more about organ donation at www.organdonation.nhs.uk