I’d been given some difficult news but little did I know that just around the corner was a wonderful adventure. By Helen Poidevin, 43
My weekly yoga session had just come to an end when suddenly I froze.
What on earth is that? I thought.
As I was rolling up my yoga mat, my fingers had brushed against my breast and I was sure I’d felt something unusual.
I hurried home and, sure enough, there was a hard lump in my left breast.
I’d never noticed it before and now, feeling worried, I called the GP surgery.
After examining me, the doctor sent me for tests and a few weeks later, I found myself sitting opposite a surgeon who told me, ‘I’m so sorry, but it’s cancer.’
The lump I’d felt was a tumour measuring 4.5cms and my cancer was already at stage three, grade three and particularly aggressive.
It was such a shock.
'I need a fresh start'
With my mind reeling, I tried to stay calm as the surgeon said, ‘You’ll need to start treatment straight away.’
Not wanting to waste any time, I made the decision not to delay things by exploring options such as freezing my eggs.
I was in my 40s and single and, already a mum to 18-year-old Josh, I had no plans to have more children.
So, the following week, I started the first of seven rounds of chemotherapy.
The treatment was gruelling. I felt constantly sick and lost my hair but I did my best to stay upbeat.
‘I’m going to get through this,’ I told my friends.
Every day, no matter how poorly I felt, I took myself out on a short walk to breathe in fresh air and listen to the birds. I kept up with my yoga and made sure I ate healthily to give myself the best chance of recovery.
After chemo, I had an operation to remove the tumour and then I got the news I’d been waiting for.
The hospital called and I was told, ‘There’s no evidence of disease.’
It was such a relief.
But to stop the cancer from coming back I had more treatment including immunotherapy as well as radiotherapy which made me grouchy.
And for the first time since my diagnosis, I felt my positivity start to slip.
I thought, I need a fresh start.
So after I finished treatment, I sold my house, quit my job and moved to the seaside town of Deal on the Kent coast.
'He's finally here!'
My grandma had lived there when I was a child and I’d always loved the place. As I stood in my new home surrounded by boxes, I thought, I’m going to be happy here.
I took up paddleboarding and spent hours walking on the beach.
Then, one weekend, I invited some friends to visit. One of them – a man called Elliot – I’d known since my 20s.
I’d always thought he was sweet but, as we sat in the pub chatting, we kept looking at each other and something odd happened.
I thought, Why does my tummy keep doing somersaults?
As we walked home, Elliot made a confession
‘I’ve always fancied you,’ he said.
And I realised what my fluttery stomach was all about.
‘I think I fancy you too,’ I said.
Our friendship quickly blossomed into romance.
Since we’d been friends for so long, Elliot knew all about my cancer and he knew that after all the treatment I’d been through, it was unlikely I’d be able to have children.
That didn’t stop us wanting them though.
‘Imagine having a mini us,’ I said.
‘That would be cute,’ Elliot replied. ‘Let’s start trying and see what happens.’
My doctor gave us the go ahead but I wasn’t hopeful, not after all the treatment I’d been through.
But one day, a month later, I woke feeling unwell.
No, I told myself, it can’t be…
A few minutes later, however, I was standing in the bathroom, staring opened mouthed at a little white stick.
Elliot was at work so I took a picture of the test and texted it to him.
He replied. Oh no. Have you got Covid?
I burst out laughing.
No, I told him. You’re going to be a dad!
‘It never thought it would happen for us,’ Elliot said.
We couldn’t believe it. I’d really thought it was impossible after the cancer treatment and the fact I was now 42, but, once we’d got our heads around it, we were overjoyed.
The next day, he even opened a bank account for the baby in preparation.
We decorated the nursery and in time I went into hospital where I had a Caesarean section and gave birth to a little boy.
We named him Theo.
As the midwife placed him on my chest, I started to cry.
‘I can’t believe he’s finally here,’ I said as his little hand grasped tightly around my finger.
‘He’s beautiful,’ Elliot said.
I looked down at him, staring into his blue eyes – just like his dad’s, I just couldn’t believe my luck.
Our little family was complete.
Now, Theo is almost one and he’s such a happy and loving boy.
Josh adores him too.
After everything I went through, Theo really is my miracle – the child I never thought I’d be lucky enough to have.
I’m so grateful for him.