When Josephine found her biological dad, there was bombshell after bombshell…
Hearing my parents arguing, I poked my head around the living-room door.
Dad stormed off in
a huff and Mum came over to me.
‘Don’t take any notice of him. Your real father is an older, tall, good-looking man,’ she said.
Because I was only five, I didn’t understand what she meant.
So, I didn’t think any more of it.
Growing up, I always felt closer to my mum.
But Dad was a good parent and even though he had his own business, he still made time for me and my seven siblings.
I was the second youngest.
‘You’re so different, Josie,’ he’d smile.
I did think we had a special bond.
Then when I was nine, Dad said something odd.
‘Josie, I know you’re not my child, but as long as I’m raising you, you are,’ he said sweetly.
It went in one ear and out the other.
Eventually I moved out and
got married.
I started my own cosmetics business and it became successful.
Life was great.
But when I was 42, my dad passed away.
Eight years later, Mum had
a stroke.
She was left bedbound and one of my sisters became her carer.
We knew she didn’t have long left.
When I went to visit her, she took
my hand.
‘Your real dad is
a tall, older man,’
she said.
'I'm sorry, he passed away'
Suddenly, I had a flashback of her saying the same thing when
I was five.
‘I used to take you to visit him when you were a baby,’ she said.
I was dumbfounded.
‘He knew about me?’ I gasped.
‘Yeah, he was happy that I’d had a girl,’ she said.
To think the man who’d raised me wasn’t my biological dad, was overwhelming.
I had to start thinking of him as my stepdad.
Then, she explained I was conceived while they were on a break.
Mum wouldn’t give me much detail, so I pushed it to the back of my mind.
Not long after, she passed away.
Thirteen years later, a friend of mine asked me for help.
She’d given up her son for adoption when he was a baby.
‘Could you help me look for him?’ she asked.
‘Of course,’ I replied.
We spent months looking for any information about where he could be.
But sadly, it was no use.
Then one day, another friend of mine had an idea.
‘Why don’t you try looking for your real dad?’ he said.
‘I’m not sure where to even start,’ I sighed.
But it planted a seed in my mind.
So one day when I spotted an advert for a DNA testing site, I decided to take the plunge.
I ordered a pack and sent off swabs of saliva.
When my results were in, I logged into my online account.
I was stunned by what I found.
‘Who are all these people?’ I muttered.
I had so many immediate family members I’d had no clue about.
But it was limited on detail.
‘You should try Ancestry,’ another friend told me, recommending a different website.
So I did.
When my family tree popped up, there was my biological dad’s name in black and white.
There was a picture of him too.
It was the first time I’d seen what he looked like.
‘I look just like him!’ I exclaimed.
My family tree was so big and confusing that I got in touch with a cousin who worked in genealogy.
‘That is definitely your biological dad,’ she told me on the phone.
‘Oh my goodness,’ I replied, shocked.
A glimmer of hope went through me.
‘Can I meet him?’ I asked
her.
'We never knew about you'
‘I’m sorry, he passed away over 30 years ago,’ she replied.
I was gutted.
He was 84 when he died.
I did the maths and realised I was conceived when he was 51 and that he was two decades older than Mum.
She did used to say my real dad was an older man, I thought.
Then, I found out my eldest half-sister on my Dad’s side
was in her nineties and her
name was Ethel.
Sadly, a few of my half-siblings had already died due to age.
It was hard to wrap my head around.
Soon, I was told my dad and his children had lived in the
same neighbourhood as me growing up.
It was gut-wrenching to think we could’ve easily met.
I was devastated that I’d missed out on so much.
A cousin arranged for a few of my siblings to meet me on a Zoom call.
As soon as their faces popped up on the screen, I was taken aback.
‘I look just like you all!’ I exclaimed.
‘Hey, sister,’ they smiled.
They were so welcoming.
Six months later, one of my half-sisters, Velma, came to visit my workplace to meet me in person.
At 84 years old, she was one of Dad’s youngest.
‘It’s lovely to meet you,’ she said, as she hugged me.
‘You too,’ I smiled.
‘We always suspected there was another one,’ she chuckled.
Eventually, some of my other half-siblings came to visit me too.
But I still had a lot of others
to meet.
Soon, I was invited to their yearly family reunion.
They’d been doing them for over 50 years, so I was nervous to be the newcomer.
What if the rest of Dad’s family didn’t accept me?
But when I got there, they overwhelmed me with love.
There were so many people, it looked like a parade!
There was even a stage.
‘Please welcome our sister Josie,’ came a booming voice over the microphone.
It was like I was the star of
the show.
I felt so lucky.
Then I got chatting to one of my cousins.
‘Do you know you have 35 siblings on your dad’s side?’ he said.
‘What!’ I exclaimed.
I went into shock.
Along with my siblings on Mum’s side, I had a whopping 42 in total.
Soon, I went to visit Ethel at her home.
When I walked in, her eyes
lit up.
‘I found you,’ she said.
‘No sister, I found you,’ I chuckled.
We held hands as we talked for hours getting to know each other.
She told me about our dad’s humble beginnings and how he was once the eligible bachelor of the town.
‘He was a classy, humble man, and so loving towards his children,’ she told me.
‘We never knew about you,’ she said sadly.
We concluded he must’ve stayed out of my life out of respect for my mum and stepdad.
Or it could’ve been because he didn’t want to disrupt my life.
Either way, I wish he had made himself known to me.
The next year, it dawned on me that I’d never even heard his voice.
So, a cousin found a tape recording of him.
As I played it, I burst into tears.
I wish I got to meet him and make memories with him, I thought.
Then two of my sisters offered to take me to his graveside.
‘I’d like that,’ I said.
When we got there, I knelt down and put my hands on his headstone.
It was a sad moment, but I also felt happy to be closer to him.
My sisters and I spent the rest of the day together and we clicked.
‘It’s like I’ve known you my whole life,’ I said.
Since then, I’ve been to three more of the yearly reunions.
They’re always great fun, but there are so many other gatherings during the year that I can’t keep up.
I feel lucky to have such a big, loving family.
I’m planning to throw a big party for Ethel’s 100th birthday
next year.
Now, I see my dad’s side of the family as much as I can, and we keep in touch over texts.
I still can’t believe I found 35 siblings.
It’s surreal to talk about.
I’m trying to make up for lost time by creating as many wonderful memories with them as possible.
Josephine Latimer, 69