After eight years of friendship, I’d finally confessed my true feelings. But would we ever get the chance to be together? By Nel Kingman, 29
I sat in front of my laptop and my imagination ran wild as I typed away.
I loved to write fantasy fiction and often illustrated my characters too.
Escaping into my creative world was my way of coping with reality.
I had Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a group of rare inherited conditions that affected my connective tissue.
It caused severe joint pain and I was unable to work.
I lived at home with my mum Angi and stepdad, Billy.
And although I had a long-term boyfriend, I wasn’t happy in the relationship.
I thought: My life is going nowhere.
'Tell her how you feel'
But writing and drawing were my passion. So I decided to sign up to a social networking website for artists, where I could share my portfolio.
My autism often meant I struggled to make friends. But now, I started chatting with people from all over the world, who shared my creative interests.
In time, I connected with a girl named Kay. She lived in America, and was bubbly and friendly.
One evening, we chatted over Skype.
‘I love your work,’ she said.
As we got to know each other, we realised our story characters and writing styles were similar. So we started collaborating on projects.
Years passed, and we grew close. Kay became the one person I could talk to about anything.
I confided in her about my heath and relationship problems, and she shared her thoughts and feelings with me.
She wrote: It’s like I’ve known you my whole life.
I replied: I feel the same.
I spoke to my family about Kay all the time.
Despite the five-hour time difference between us, Kay and I rarely went a day without speaking to one another.
In time, I broke up with my boyfriend.
I’d always thought my autism made me unable to truly love someone. But now I realised I had feelings for Kay that I’d never experienced with anyone else.
I felt confused and confided in my friend, Helen.
‘It sounds like you’re in love with Kay,’ she said. ‘You should tell her how you feel.’
But I felt hesitant.
'I wasn't expecting that'
Although Kay had previously told me she was bisexual, I had no idea how she felt about me, and I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship.
So, for the next couple of months, I kept my feelings hidden.
But one night, as I sat up late and chatted to Kay over instant messenger, we began discussing the romance between two characters in a story.
Then, I found myself typing a confession.
I wrote: I think I’m in love with you.
As I waited for Kay’s response, it felt as if time had stood still.
Wow, she replied. I wasn’t expecting that. But I feel the same way.
My heart swelled.
Kay admitted she’d also felt confused about her feelings, but had come to realise that what we shared went beyond friendship.
Next morning, Mum came into the kitchen and I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.
‘I’m in love with Kay,’ I said. ‘And she loves me too.’
Mum felt delighted to see me so happy, and the rest of my family were supportive too.
Finally, eight years after we’d first started messaging, Kay and I arranged to meet in person.
She caught a flight, and I travelled from my home in Newcastle to Manchester Airport to meet her.
As I waited at arrivals, I felt nervous. I’d had such bad luck in love, and a part of me feared she wouldn’t show up.
But then, I spotted her walking towards me and my heart leapt.
We hugged and didn’t let go for ages.
In the days that followed, Kay and I enjoyed every moment together.
My family loved her and told me they’d never seen me so happy.
But after eight happy days together, the time came to say goodbye.
At the airport, we made plans for me to fly to America for Kay’s 30th birthday the following May.
Later, I booked my flights.
But then Covid hit. When the travel ban was announced, Kay and I felt devastated.
I thought: We’ll have to ride out the pandemic from opposite sides of the world.
When Kay’s 30th birthday arrived, I sent her a huge box of presents.
We knew it would be a while before we could be together again. But months rolled on and the pandemic continued.
Before we knew it, two and a half years had passed.
By now, Kay and I knew we wanted to be together forever, and we started talking about marriage.
When America lifted its travel ban, I rebooked my flights.
In time, I travelled to London, where I boarded a flight to Philadelphia.
By the time I arrived, I hadn’t slept in 28 hours. But my exhaustion turned to excitement the moment I laid eyes on Kay at the airport.
In the days that followed, I met all her family and friends.
We celebrated Kay’s 32nd birthday, and after she opened her presents, I handed her a birthday card.
The words Happy birthday, fiancée! were written inside.
Kay’s face lit up. Then I handed her a Pokémon ball with an engagement ring inside.
‘Will you marry me?’ I asked.
Kay threw her arms around me.
‘Yes!’ she replied.
The ring was a temporary one I’d brought from Amazon. But a few days later, Kay and I went shopping for matching silver Celtic style rings.
Now five months on, we’re saving money and hoping Kay can move to the UK on a fiancé visa.
We’ve contacted a lawyer, and once the visa has been approved, Kay will fly over and live with me at Mum’s until we can afford our own place.
We plan to marry at a register office, before saving up for a big celebration with family and friends.
In the 11 years Kay and I have known each other, we’ve only spent 16 days together. But we know our love is real, and we can’t wait to be united for the rest of our lives.
Most days, I wake up at 1pm and go to sleep at 5am, so I can spend my night chatting with Kay after she comes home from her job as a medical assistant.
We still love writing and drawing together, and we hope to one day publish a book series.
For many years, I didn’t think I’d ever find true love. But it was there all along with Kay — my best friend and now my wife-to-be!