Pamela DeNeuve, 76, had given up on men, until a witty message changed everything
As I chattered away, my friend Sheelagh almost spilt her coffee. ‘Honestly,’ she chuckled. ‘At this point, you might as well just buy a dog!’ I’d just told her about my latest dating disaster – a chap who’d confessed on our first date that he had a sexually transmitted disease! You couldn’t make it up.
My love life had always been a bit of a joke. After divorcing at 28 and raising two little ones alone, romance took a back seat to keeping food on the table. I juggled my sales job with cleaning offices during the evenings and weekends too. Even when I did go on dates, nothing worked out.
Before I knew it I was 50 and fed up. Sheelagh kept telling me, ‘You’re the person we all come to for advice – you ought to make life coaching your full-time job.’ So encouraged by her, I decided to give it a go and, amazingly, it took off.
But my health took a knock. First, I needed an emergency hysterectomy, then I battled high blood pressure, as well as an autoimmune condition. Then, just when I thought I’d finally found ‘The One’, and after moving in together, he dumped me. I was 55 and had to move into a tiny bedsit by myself.
Determined to get back on my feet, I became vegetarian, gave up alcohol, and told my friends: ‘I’m celibate from now on. There aren’t any good men left.’ But Sheelagh kept urging me, ‘Don’t you dare give up.’
Still, before I knew it, I’d turned 70 and was convinced my fire had gone out for good. But a fellow life coach told me to show myself some compassion and get back out there. So, reluctantly, I tried the dating apps again, and found that nothing had changed. I was matched with one gentleman who’d been married four times, and another who announced he was impotent.
'I'm celibate from now on'
Then one day, a profile grabbed my attention. The chap had written: I live in a trailer park and only have one tooth. That made me laugh, so I had to find out more. Turned out, Greg, aged 72, was charming and wonderfully honest. We clicked and went for ice cream. There was no great thunderbolt, but I liked him. ‘If we’re going to be together, we have to be completely honest with each other,’ I said. ‘Exactly,’ Greg agreed.
When my 75th rolled round, I did something bold – I invited him to spend a week with me at a hotel while I attended a conference. As we set off, I confessed, ‘I snore, and I have hair extensions so don’t touch my hair, and I’ve brought some condoms!’ Greg nearly drove off the road laughing! That week, we spent time talking, giggling, and yes, after 20 years of me having no sex at all, I rediscovered a passion I thought I’d lost forever.
Sadly, my dear friend Sheelagh passed away before seeing me truly happy, but I know she’d be thrilled, especially now Greg and I are engaged. Now, my life coaching is full of older ladies asking me for my romance tips. It’s wonderful seeing them take life by the horns again. I’m the proof it’s never too late to find love!
• Follow Pamela on TikTok @pameladeneuve to join her online class for older ladies looking to find love