Mr Right was proving hard to find – but Keira wouldn’t let that stop her becoming a mum…
Reading the text from my mate Sam, my vision blurred with tears.
I know this might be hard to hear, but I’ve just found out I’m pregnant, she wrote.
While I was genuinely happy for Sam, it was bittersweet.
Growing up, all I’d ever wanted was to become a mum, and as young as possible.
I’d had it all planned out. I’d meet my husband at 20, marry at 21 and have kids straightaway.
But my 18-month relationship had broken down when I was 21 and, three years on, I was still single.
Trouble was, the men I met on dating apps just weren’t in the same place as me.
While I had a good job as a nurse and had managed to buy my own home at 24, most fellas still lived with their parents and seemed to lack ambition.
'You're still young, you'll meet someone'
Lately though, with more and more of my friends announcing their pregnancies, I was increasingly jealous.
Although I owned my own home and had a stable career, because I wasn’t with anyone, I couldn’t even start trying for a baby.
To make matters worse, my beloved dad had been diagnosed with melanoma when I was 20.
Now it had spread to his bowel and we’d been told it was terminal.
If I wanted him to meet his future grandchild, it felt like time was running out.
A few months after Sam’s announcement, on my 25th birthday, I found myself typing into Google, How to have a child on your own.
I discovered other women like me on Instagram via the hashtag #solomumbychoice.
Most were single women in their 40s who felt like their window to have a child was about to shut.
Although some expressed surprise that I was considering solo motherhood so young, more said they wished they’d started treatment when they were younger and more fertile.
Some had spent thousands on failed treatments.
One woman – Daisy – was my age and had already had a baby through IVF as a single woman.
Being in the same boat, we really bonded.
When I told my mum, dad and younger sister Zoe that I was looking into IVF as a single woman, they weren’t keen.
‘You’re still young,’ Dad said. ‘You’ll meet someone.’
But they knew me well enough to know that if I wanted something, I’d go out and get it.
'So you did go and have it done then?'
Six weeks after my birthday, I had an appointment at a private clinic for a ‘fertility MOT’, checking the lining of my womb, my follicles and hormone levels.
Next I needed to choose a sperm donor.
I knew I wanted photos of the man in question.
This was partly nosiness!
But also, when my child got to an age where they were more curious, I wanted to give them the option of seeing a photo of their biological father.
The European sperm banks only had baby photos of their donors, but an American one had both baby and adult photos.
I wasn’t overly bothered about my baby having the same eye and hair colour as me, but I did filter for height.
I was 5ft 7in, and as I figured I’d never date anyone shorter than me, I put in 5ft 10in as a minimum.
Each potential donor had a lengthy profile, detailing everything from their job and family history to their favourite music.
The only thing it didn’t reveal was their names.
One profile jumped out because he’d said his hero was his dad.
That might have sounded odd given I was planning to bring my own child into the world without a father, but having had an amazing dad myself, that line just got me.
He also had a nice face and his baby pictures were cute.
I thought, I’d date him if I saw him in real life.
Because I didn’t have any fertility issues I had natural IVF, where they worked alongside my natural cycle and used minimal doses of drugs, to avoid over-stimulating my ovaries.
In the end, doctors retrieved six eggs – all of which fertilised.
One embryo was transferred into my womb and I froze the rest, because I liked the thought of my baby having a full sibling at some point in the future.
I took a pregnancy test in the loo at work and when I saw two lines appear, my first reaction was relief.
Having spent £5000 on the treatment, I’d really wanted it to work!
But I felt nervous too.
Still, I expected a lot of people felt like that when they learnt they were expecting their first, however they’d been conceived!
Life will never be the same again, I thought.
Daisy was the first person I told and she was thrilled for me.
A few days later, on Zoe’s birthday, I gave her a card that said, Happy Birthday Auntie.
‘How?’ she spluttered, before bursting into excited tears.
I didn’t tell Mum until I was 11 weeks pregnant.
We’d gone to a spa for her birthday and I blurted it out in the car park!
‘So you did go and have it done then?’ she said.
And at first, I couldn’t read her reaction. But she sent Dad an early scan photo.
Zoe, who was with him at the time, messaged a couple of minutes later.
He’s already phoned a friend to boast about becoming a grandad! she texted.
Mum quickly came round too.
‘You can’t be in that hot tub when you’re pregnant,’ she said inside the spa. ‘You’ve got to look after my grandbaby now!’
I took Zoe with me to my 12-week scan and Dad to my 20-week one.
Mum was my birth partner, and luckily the labour went smoothly.
I hadn’t found out what I was having which made it more exciting when the midwife announced, ‘It’s a boy!’
‘That means Dad’s name will live on,’ I told Mum tearfully.
We hadn’t known if Dad would live to see me become a mum, but he had opted for one last operation on the cancer to buy more time.
‘I want to see my grandchild,’ he insisted.
When Dad did finally meet baby Noah it was really emotional.
We both sobbed.
In the end he passed when Noah was just four months old.
And it was Noah who stopped me from falling apart.
With a newborn you just had to get out of bed each day. Noah brought the whole family joy at a really awful time.
Ever since falling pregnant I’d had friends – and friends of friends – who also wanted to become solo mums getting in touch for advice.
So a couple of weeks after I lost Dad, I started posting about Noah and me – and my journey to have him – on TikTok.
Before long I was getting messages from women wanting to follow my lead.
You’re an inspiration! they said.
Although not everyone was positive.
Some said I was selfish to bring a fatherless child into the world.
Obviously I’d love for Noah to have had the brilliant father figure that I had growing up.
But even if he had been conceived in a relationship, I could still have ended up as a single mum.
Families come in all shapes and sizes these days and I’ve got great support around me.
Plus Noah will always know how much I wanted him.
Now he’s due to start school in September and I hope to get one of his frozen brothers or sisters implanted soon.
No woman should have the chance to be a mum taken away, just because she’s single.
Keira Parker, 30, Mansfield, Notts
Follow Keira and Noah on TikTok @keiraandnoah1