As my 50th approached, I had a secret confession to make to my hubby. But how would he react? By Helene Parent, 52
Looking at the clock, I worked out it would be a couple of hours before Mum would be home.
She was a single parent, and it was my job to look after my younger sister, Audrey, when Mum worked late.
‘Come on, let’s get the toys out,’ I said to her, and the pair of us began to rummage around in the toy box.
I liked having the responsibility because it made me feel grown-up.
I learnt to cook too, and as I chopped and stirred, I began to imagine what it would be like to prepare meals for guests.
‘Running my own restaurant would be amazing,’ I said to Audrey.
But, as a teen, I began to dream of new horizons. And by the time I was 24, I’d made a big decision.
‘I’m going to live in Tenerife,’ I told Mum and Audrey.
Arriving on the sunny island, I quickly settled and took full advantage of the busy social life it offered.
Then one day, as I walked along one of the beaches, I spotted a tiny figure weaving in and out of the waves on a surfboard.
I watched in admiration as the surfer majestically rode a wave and thought, I want to do that.
So I got all the equipment and was soon out there myself.
I discovered that it was a great way to make friends and I didn’t half fancy a guy called Luc who ran one of the local surfing shops, with his suntanned features and welcoming smile.
But I kept that crush to myself after discovering he was married with two sons.
In time, I met my partner and gave birth to a son, Hugo.
'My dream has come true'
Sadly, the relationship didn’t last, and I became a single mum.
It made me think about all the times I’d looked after Audrey while Mum worked and reminded me of the dream I’d had back then of opening a restaurant.
I still loved cooking and often had friends over for dinner.
‘That’s fantastic,’ they’d tell me, when I dished up a three-course meal I’d whipped up.
And, after talking to my dad about my restaurant dream, he said, ‘I’ll help you.’
So, at the age of 40, I found myself in a kitchen, luxuriating in the aroma of chicken and gorgeous smelling herbs as I chopped and stirred.
‘My dream has come true,’ I said to Hugo.
And my customers seemed to love my food too because they kept coming back for more.
My new life was busy, and I was always on my feet, but the feeling of achieving what I’d wanted to do for years was wonderful.
Then one afternoon, I took a couple of hours off to have my hair cut and stopped to grab a quick coffee on the way.
In the coffee shop, I saw a man I thought I recognised and when our eyes met, he said, ‘Don’t we know each other?’
Suddenly a memory flashed through my mind.
‘Didn’t you run a surfing shop?’ I asked and he nodded.
It was Luc, the guy I’d fancied all those years ago when I’d first started surfing!
‘Would you like to join me?’ he asked.
I wished I could, but I had to get to my appointment, so I handed him a business card and said, ‘I have to dash. But come to my restaurant any time and let’s have a coffee there.’
The next day, I was at work when Luc strolled in, so I got us both a drink and we sat down to chat.
He told me he’d been separated from his wife for 15 years and as I was still single too, that was music to my ears.
When he’d finished his coffee, he stood up, kissed me on the cheek and said, ‘I like you a lot.’
I blushed. I liked him a lot too.
We began seeing each other and I worked out that it had been 22 years since I’d first set eyes on Luc’s tanned face and swooned.
This time, after just three whirlwind months, he asked, ‘Will you marry me?’
‘Yes!’ I said, without hesitation.
Just six months later, we exchanged our vows and afterwards, Hugo and I moved in with Luc.
Then one day soon after, I had an afternoon off from the restaurant, so Luc and I went out cycling.
But as we pedalled along, I took a tumble.
‘Ow,’ I grimaced, grasping my ankle in pain.
Luc got me to the hospital where a doctor said, ‘It’s broken and you’ve ruptured some ligaments.’
My heart sank and he explained I was facing months of recovery.
The restaurant had to take a back seat, and now Luc and Hugo were looking after me.
I was so used to being independent that I hated being completely reliant on them.
But when I sensed they were becoming irritated with having to help me out so much too, a seed of resentment was planted inside me.
I thought back to all the times I’d instinctively cared for people without complaint.
I’d looked after my little sister as a child, Hugo as a single parent, various partners and more recently Luc and his house after we’d moved in.
Now when I needed looking after, I wasn’t getting the same care I’d given in the past.
Gradually, my resentment grew and grew.
And with my 50th approaching, I knew exactly what was at the top of my birthday present list.
I want to be truly independent, I thought.
Although I still loved Luc and didn’t want to lose him from my life, I realised I wanted to live on my own and run my restaurant.
Could there be a way I could have both?
Nervously, I broached the subject with Luc.
‘I don’t want to live with you any more,’ I confessed and his eyes widened in shock.
‘Do you want to separate?’ he asked in dismay.
‘No, definitely not,’ I replied.
Slowly, I outlined how I still wanted us to be married, I just wanted to live on my own and run a restaurant in my home.
He shook his head, bewildered, but now I’d said it out loud to him, I was more sure than ever that’s what I wanted.
So while he tried to get his head around what I’d told him, I began looking for a home of my own.
Luc still wasn’t sure this was going to work when I found the perfect place, packed up my stuff and moved in.
A few days later, Luc came to stay over for two days.
The emotion of being apart and then together again was exhilarating.
‘We’re getting the best of each other,’ I said.
‘Yes, I see that now,’ he said, finally understanding that it was for the best.
After that, he came over regularly from his place 40 minutes away to help me with the renovations and soon, I opened up the restaurant from my new home.
Each time he visited, we were overjoyed to be together again.
It was an unusual set-up, but it worked for us and really kept things fresh.
When I explained to friends, I noticed it was women who understood it best.
‘It’s rooted in love, and it needs trust and commitment,’ I told them.
Now, seven years into married life, and two years on from living apart, my marriage to Luc is the strongest it’s ever been.
Who’d have guessed that the secret is living apart!