I'd fallen for a tomboy and now I was on my way to marry him - even though we'd never actually met. No wonder Mum thought I'd lost my marbles. By Lisa Mrad, 36
I stared at my computer screen and my mouth flapped open. Gazing back at me with smouldering
eyes was a half-naked man.
I peered a bit closer and thought: Wow, he’s a bit of all right.
His name was Yousef and he’d sent me a message on a dating app. I scanned his profile and it said he was from Tunisia and was 31.
That was six years younger than me.
And I thought: That’s a disaster waiting to happen.
I’d dated toyboys before and it had never worked out because they just weren’t mature enough.
But Yousef was so handsome, I couldn’t resist.
So I sent him a message and, over the next couple of weeks, we got chatting. He was polite and charming and wrote very good English.
I studied it at university, he told me.
He told me all about his family in Tunisia and I told him about my life in Nottingham with my son Justin who was autistic.
I haven’t had the best luck with men, I wrote. I’ve been cheated on in the past.
Then Yousef made a confession of his own.
I’ve never had a girlfriend before, he explained. I’m a virgin.
My eyebrows shot up.
He was 31!
But I respected his views and, if anything, it made me like him even more. Yousef was different from every other man I’d ever known. He was attentive and there wasn’t a day that went by when he didn’t tell me I was beautiful.
'Wow, he's a bit of all right'
But when he asked if we could video-call one another, I felt worried.
I look much better in pictures, I told him.
Let me be the judge, he said.
Reluctantly, I agreed. As soon as I was on the screen, a huge grin spread across his face.
‘You look the same,’ he said. ‘Beautiful.’
My heart fluttered.
From then on, we video-chatted every day and Yousef introduced me to his family. He spoke to Justin too, and they got on like a house on fire.
I hadn’t really expected anything more than friendship to come from our chats. But one day it hit me that I’d fallen for Yousef. And that sparked a battle between my head and my heart.
Could I really be in love with someone I’d never met?
I needed to know if Yousef felt the same way so, as we talked one day, I told him: ‘I’ve fallen in love with you.’
It was a joke really, but Yousef said: ‘OK. Let’s do it.’
I stared at him.
‘Really?’ I said.
‘Yeah,’ he replied. ‘I really like you and I’m ready to settle down.’
I couldn’t believe it, but we started making wedding plans.
At first, Yousef wanted me to go and live in Tunisia. I thought about it, but in the end I knew it wouldn’t work.
Justin went to a special school and he needed continuity.
Yousef was disappointed, but he understood.
‘I’ll move to the UK, then,’ he said. ‘I’ll miss my family, but I want to be with you.’
We decided to get married in Tunisia, so I booked my flights while Yousef made the necessary arrangements for the ceremony.
I offered to send him money to help, but he refused it.
‘You’re going to be my wife,’ he said. ‘I want to provide for you.’
Once everything was booked, I started packing.
But I decided not to tell my family about the wedding until afterwards. I knew they’d only try to put me off.
I could understand why they’d be concerned. After all, I’d never met my groom in person. But I knew Yousef was the one for me.
So I told them I was going on holiday.
Mum offered to look after Justin for me while I was gone.
‘You deserve a break,’ she told me.
And I thought: If only you knew…
Saying goodbye to my family,
I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. But when I got to the airport, the reality of what I was doing finally hit me.
As my flight was called, I thought: This is crazy. I’m crazy.
But still, I got on the plane.
By the time we touched down in Tunisia, I was trembling. But then I looked around and spotted a pair of smouldering eyes and all my worries melted away.
Yousef ran up to me and pulled me into his arms.
‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ he said.
‘Neither can I,’ I replied, my eyes brimming with tears.
It felt so good to finally touch him.
‘Am I what you expected?’ I asked him.
‘Better,’ he said.
The wedding was four days away, so I spent time getting to know Yousef’s family. We had agreed we wouldn’t sleep together until we were married, so every night I went back to my apartment alone, and Yousef would come and get me in the morning.
When the day of the wedding finally arrived, I was awake from the early hours, buzzing with excitement. I couldn’t wait to become Yousef’s wife.
First, we went to Tunis to swear an affirmation, and by the time we got back, I had less than an hour to get ready for the ceremony.
I hadn’t packed a wedding dress. Instead I opted for trousers and a smart top.
‘You look beautiful,’ Yousef told me.
We took our places with his dad and brother as witnesses, and spoke our vows to one another, while his mum and sisters prepared a feast.
But before we could celebrate with everyone, there was something we wanted to do.
‘Could you drop us off at Lisa’s apartment?’ Yousef said to his dad. ‘We’d like a few hours to ourselves.’
As soon as we were inside, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other and we made love for hours, before finally heading to Yousef’s family home.
‘Worth the wait?’ I asked Yousef on the way.
‘Definitely,’ he replied with a big grin.
Next day, I went on Facebook to update my status to married, and I posted photos from the wedding.
At once, messages came flooding in. Most were full of congratulations, but there were negative comments too, particularly from my family.
Mum told me: You’re off your head.
My brother said: He’s using you for a visa.
I read their comments out to Yousef.
‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘We’ll prove them wrong.’
I hoped when they finally saw us together, they’d realise how deeply we were in love.
We spent the next few days together, and then it was time for me to go home to Nottingham.
‘Stay longer,’ Yousef pleaded.
‘I can’t,’ I said. ‘I need to get back to Justin.’
But saying goodbye was heart-
breaking. I cried the whole way home and for days afterwards.
When I spoke to Yousef again, it all felt like a dream.
‘I can’t wait until you’re back in my arms,’ he told me.
‘Me neither,’ I said.
I planned to apply for his visa straightaway so we could be together, but then something happened. Coronavirus began sweeping the world and the country went into lockdown, putting our plans on hold.
Now we have no idea when we will be reunited. But I do know that once we are together it will be forever.
Until then, as soon as the lockdown is lifted I’ll go to Tunisia for a holiday, as I can’t bear life without him any longer, and I’ll take Justin with me this time, so I can go for a month.
I’m not naïve. I’ve read all the stories about older women and younger men from abroad, but Yousef has never given me any reason to doubt him.
It’s not as though I have any money for him to get his hands on, and he can’t be a love rat. He was a virgin until he married me!
People can think what they want. I know we’re in love, and that’s all that matters.