I thought surgery would be a quick fix to an embarrassing problem but I woke and knew instantly I was wrong
I let out a huge sneeze then instantly felt a dampness in my knickers.
‘Not again!’ I groaned.
These days, every time I sneezed or coughed, I’d end up wetting myself.
My problems had started after I’d pushed out four children in five years – most of them weighing almost 10lb. It had severely weakened my pelvic floor and as they’d grown up, it had just got worse.
Now, at the end of my tether, I sought medical help and agreed to an operation to insert a vaginal mesh implant that would support the neck of the bladder and prevent incontinence.
As I was wheeled into theatre, I hoped my problems would soon be over. But when I came round, I was in agony from head to toe. I worked as a nurse and knew this wasn’t right.
‘I shouldn’t have gone through with this,’ I croaked to my husband Dean. ‘I’ve made a dreadful mistake.
The first time I went to the loo after the operation, only a few tiny drips of wee came out.
Back home, it was still a struggle and I ended up back in hospital a few times, once to remove three whole litres of urine from my bladder. For months, the only way I could wee was by inserting a small tube into my urethra to empty my bladder, which led to countless urinary tract infections (UTIs).
After begging the doctor for help, he agreed to take out the lower portion of the mesh to try to ease my symptoms.
It took two attempts because I suffered an allergic reaction to the anaesthetic and ended up in intensive care the first time. But while I could finally pee normally again, I was plagued with groin pain and UTIs, so eventually they removed the mesh completely.
When my symptoms persisted, I paid for a private scan, which revealed there were still five pieces of mesh inside me.
But I was told it was too dangerous to remove any more, so now I’m stuck with the symptoms – and I’m not alone. A support group called Sling The Mesh, has almost 11,000 members who’ve suffered physically and mentally after having this operation.
Eleven years on from mine, the regular UTIs I still suffer have caused an autoimmune condition called interstitial cystitis, which causes pelvic pain and problems peeing.
I still work as a nurse and I’m determined to not only educate my colleagues about the complications, but speak up for all those women like me. We won’t be silent.
● Meshed Up: A Nurse’s Fight for Healing and Recovery Following Mesh Implant Surgery by Dawn Martin is available on Amazon
From Dawn Martin, 62, of Hampshire