‘I take my fiancé on dates to my hubby’s grave’

dates to dead hubby's grave

by take-a-break |
Updated on

Date nights are very different for Christina and her fiance…

Take new fella to husband's grave

Rinsing off the soapy suds from the last of the dishes, I heard the doorbell chime.

‘Who could that be at this time of night?’ I said to my parents, puzzled.

I opened the door and raised my eyebrows at the handsome man in front of me.

‘Bōdy? What are you doing here?’ I asked.

‘I’m here to see you,’ he smiled.

I’d known of Bōdy for a while as we had mutual friends,

I’d always had an inkling that he fancied me, and now I’d split from my two boys’ dad and he was standing before me, I was seeing him in a different light.

I felt my cheeks flush as I welcomed him in and offered him a drink.

As soon as we started chatting, I felt sparks fly between us.

Two weeks later, Bōdy bought a place and asked me to move in!

‘Things are moving fast!’ my friends said.

‘It just feels right,’ I said.

Living together was bliss, and a month into our relationship, I found out I was pregnant.

‘He’s going to leave me when he finds out,’ I fretted to my mum.

But I needn’t have worried.

take fella to hubby's grave

Bōdy was over the moon, and in time, our perfect little girl Bailey was born.

When she was 11 months old, Bōdy and I got married.

It felt like the cherry on top of the cake and I couldn’t have been happier.

By the time Bailey was two-and-a-half, Bōdy was desperate to have another child.

But with three little ones running around, it was more than I could handle.

‘I’d love for us to try for a boy,’ Bōdy pleaded.

‘And what happens if it’s not a boy?’ I asked.

‘Then we’ll try again,’ he winked, bending down to give me a kiss.

Sure enough, I soon fell pregnant with our son.

When he was born, I stroked his tiny head and ran through the list of names I’d thought of.

But Bōdy and I couldn’t agree on one we both liked, and so we decided to call our little one Matthew Bōdy, which was Bōdy’s forename and middle name in reverse.

The years passed happily, but after a while, we hit a blip in our marriage.

'You husband has been in an accident'

‘I need some time apart to work on myself,’ I told him.

It was the hardest thing I’d had to do, but I knew it was what was best for us and the kids.

Two months into our split, my phone rang.

‘Your husband has been in an accident,’ the person said on the other end.

Trying not to panic, I drove to the hospital, praying he’d be fine.

But when I got there, I gasped.

Bōdy was laying there motionless, hooked up to tubes and wires.

‘He’s on life support,’ the doctors told us. ‘We need to see if there’s any brain activity.’

We held our breath, hoping against hope that Bōdy might miraculously recover.

But a week later, there was devastating news. Doctors had declared him brain dead.

Knowing Bōdy was no longer there was impossible to accept.

Took fella to hubby's grave

He still had so much to live for. He was just 43.

The children were completely heartbroken too.

Even though we’d taken some space from each other before he died, I was still hoping we’d reunite.

In my grief, I became closer to Bōdy’s mum.

But I struggled with the feelings of loss. I couldn’t see how I’d ever love again.

We’d visit Bōdy’s grave as often as we could as a family and Matthew even bought a rose bush from the supermarket to plant at the foot of the grave.

Then one day, around a year after Bōdy’s death, a notification popped up on my phone.

It was a Facebook message from a guy named Alex.

'It might be a bit of an unusual date'

I clicked on his profile and vaguely recognised him as someone who went to the same school as me, but we’d never spoken before.

We got chatting and before I knew it, he was asking me out on a date.

‘I’d love to take you motorbiking,’ Alex suggested.

I wasn’t sure if I was ready to date again, and the idea of jumping on the back of a motorbike terrified me.

But a little voice inside was urging me to take the chance.

My heart raced as I tapped out a tentative reply.

OK, let’s do it, I wrote.

Hugging Alex tightly around his waist and feeling the wind in my hair, I knew I had made the right decision.

The bike ride was exhilarating and Alex was every bit as kind and sweet as he’d been in his messages.

The more time I spent with him, the more I liked him.

Alex was such a gent and he’d go above and beyond to make sure I was looked after.

Soon we were a couple. I was head over heels, but I wanted to make sure it was serious before I introduced Alex to my kids.

When he assured me he was in it for the long haul, Alex met the rest of the family.

Took new fella to hubby's grave

I was so nervous, but I had no need to be.

‘He’s great, Mum,’ Bailey smiled.

Soon Alex became a father-figure to my kids, but he never tried to replace Bōdy.

He did so many kind things, including buying a bigger place so we could move my mum in with us during her last days.

Even Bōdy’s mother, who I’d remained incredibly close with, loved and accepted Alex with open arms.

But there was one special person Alex had yet to meet…

‘Can I take you somewhere?’ I asked him, driving him towards the cemetery.

‘Sure,’ he replied.

‘It might be a bit of an unusual date,’ I warned, as we stepped outside.

‘This is Bōdy,’ I said, gesturing towards the grave, surrounded by flowers and ornaments.

took new fella to hubby's grave

I needed him to understand that Bōdy was always going to be a part of my life, and I wanted to involve Alex in that.

I looked over at Alex’s face, anxiously waiting for his reaction.

He bent down and picked at something on the rosebush that had blossomed since Matthew had planted it there.

What’s he doing? I panicked.

‘It needs pruning,’ he smiled.

I sighed with relief. I couldn’t believe I’d met someone so understanding.

Soon, Alex even began helping with looking after my late partner’s grave, tending to the rose bush, mowing the grass and making sure the plot always looked tidy and neat.

Took new fella to hubby's grave

‘Does it bother you that we speak about Bōdy so much?’ I asked Alex one day.

‘Not at all,’ he replied. ‘When I’m gone, I hope I’m as well remembered as he is.’

He really understood, so much so, that one time when Bailey was acting out, he drove to the cemetery on our way home.

As Bailey sat quietly by Bōdy’s grave, he turned to me.

‘I figured she needed to spend some time with her dad,’ Alex whispered.

‘I’d bring him back for you if I could,’ Alex told Bailey.

Then one day, Alex turned up with a ring.

‘You’re going to be my wife,’ he beamed.

‘Oh really?’ I joked, but inside, I was thrilled.

The rest of the family were just as excited to hear the news, and we’re now in the throes of planning our wedding.

We visit Bōdy’s grave together all the time, even if it’s just a quick pit stop to say ‘I love you’.

I feel so blessed to have been able to experience love this deep twice over.

I really believe Bōdy handpicked Alex to send to me.

Christina McClendon, 39

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