Alex thought her plus-size figure would stop her finding love — but would someone prove her wrong?
Walking through the school corridor, I felt like a giant towering over the rest of my classmates.
Aged 14, I was 5ft 11in, and the tallest girl in my year.
Overweight, I was the curviest too.
I wish I could just be normal, I thought to myself, looking at the petite girls in the class.
Growing up, my relationship with food wasn’t the best.
I was a secret eater and often sneaked into the kitchen in the evening, and binged on dinner leftovers and chocolate bars.
My parents were worried and when I was 10, they put me on a diet.
‘We just want what’s best for you,’ my mum said.
I felt pressured to lose weight as quickly as possible.
I deprived myself of food and skipped meals.
But after a few days and losing a few pounds, I became so hungry that I binged and put all the weight back on.
Throughout secondary school, I constantly yo-yoed.
‘Fatso!’ a kid yelled at me one day at school as others around him sniggered.
It felt like it wasn’t acceptable to be tall or plus-size so I felt a lot of shame about my size.
‘Why can’t I get rid of this?’ I frustratingly said, grabbing my flabby stomach as I looked at my reflection one night.
I was forever analysing parts of my body that I hated.
I felt down about my weight and confided in my mum about it.
‘You’re a beautiful young woman, I wish you could see that,’ Mum replied.
Most nights I cried myself to sleep and hoped that I would wake up slim and beautiful.
In my mid-20s, I started dipping my toe into the dating pool but I found it difficult.
'There's just more of you to love'
I realised a lot of people were attracted to curvier women.
However, I found men were interested in me sexually but not emotionally.
‘Can I take a photo with you?’ one man asked during a night out with my friends, as he leered over me.
It made my skin crawl.
Sometimes I received positive attention.
Once I was told I looked like the real-life Jessica Rabbit, and occasionally when I was out and about, female passers-by complimented me on how beautiful they thought I was.
But then sometimes I was fat shamed.
‘Fat whale!’ one man yelled at a bar one night.
Another time, a group of guys called me a burger queen.
In time, I started dating a guy who I saw a future with.
Months passed and he never held my hand in public or introduced me to any of his friends.
‘When am I going to meet your parents?’ I asked him, after nine months together.
‘My family and friends don’t know I like bigger girls so I want to keep our relationship private,’ he said.
I felt my cheeks burn up.
‘He’s ashamed to be with me because of my size,’ I vented to Mum one night.
She angrily messaged him and told him to leave me alone if he had no plans on respecting me or treating me right.
I never saw him again.
The relationship took a huge toll on my self-worth and confidence.
But I said to myself there and then: I’m never going to allow someone to treat me like that again.
I took steps to better myself.
I started eating clean, working out and listening to wellness podcasts, and worked on my mental health.
I also began to practise the art of gratitude.
‘Thank you to my body and all the amazing things you’ve done for me,’ I said out loud while looking into the mirror.
I also revaluated all the things I'd learnt as a child about my weight and size and realised they were unhealthy thoughts.
Instead, I embraced my body and learnt how to love it and cherish it for the size it was.
It had taken years, but I could feel my confidence increasing.
Feeling my curves, I realised my body wasn’t bad or worth less because it was bigger.
I deserved to be happy.
Then one day, I started talking to a guy named Matthew online.
I noticed from his picture he was quite slender. But despite the disparity, we were attracted to each other.
You look amazing, he messaged, referring to the pictures I had posted of myself on my social media page.
We arranged to meet up, and we hit it off.
It was like the saying said — opposites attract.
After that, we became inseparable and we started a relationship.
One day, Matthew popped on the scales and noticed he was just over 14 stone.
At just over 23 stone, I worked out I was nine stone heavier than him. But it didn’t matter.
‘There’s just more of you to love,’ he said.
He always complimented me and helped me to feel more confident in my skin.
I started wearing sexier clothes to enhance my voluptuous figure instead of hiding it away.
‘I can’t take my eyes off you,’ he swooned.
And apparently, he wasn’t the only one.
‘They’re staring at you,’ Matthew whispered in my ear.
I looked up to see a couple looking over at us.
‘They could be staring at both of us,’ I said.
‘I doubt it,’ he teased.
I got used to the stares from people walking by when we left the house.
One day, a man approached Matthew when I was out with him.
‘You’re lucky to have her,’ he said, before walking away.
‘Good job,’ another random man told him on another occasion.
I felt myself blushing.
Thankfully, the attention we got was more positive than negative.
During my transformation of gaining confidence and self-love, I decided I wanted to pursue modelling.
I started plus-size modelling and posed for major brands that encouraged inclusivity such as Savage X Fenty and Pretty Little Thing.
I wanted to document my journey, so I started posting photos of my modelling online and received so many positive comments.
I followed other accounts of plus-size content creators and sometimes saw them talk about how it was difficult to find a respectable and honest partner as a larger person.
I had first-hand experience of being treated poorly in the dating game and I wanted to showcase my healthy relationship and share my story to inspire others.
‘Would you be OK featuring in my videos?’ I asked Matthew.
‘Yes, sure,’ he replied.
As we started filming short videos of us together, we couldn’t believe all the positive support and encouragement we started to receive.
It’s OK to love who you are. Hold your standards high, and make sure your potential partner meets your expectations, I wrote in one caption.
For one video, as it was Halloween, I had the idea to dress up in a Jessica Rabbit costume and Matthew wore a white bunny ear headband.
With the video running, we looked at the camera and then looked at each other before finally sharing a lingering smooch.
As I pressed upload, I started seeing the number of views and likes go up and up.
Thank you for sharing your story, one person commented.
I was so shocked when our videos went viral.
It felt good to spread the message of body positivity and to encourage others to feel good about their body and the way it looked.
Unfortunately, some comments were not as pleasant, and some insisted our relationship was fake, or that Matthew was desperate for being with a fatty.
As disheartening as it was, I tried not to take it too seriously.
Recently, Matthew and I got married.
I’m so glad I met him, and together we’ve showed the world that when it comes to love, size doesn’t matter.
Alex Aspasia, 28