When Angela finally found the courage to confront her toxic husband, he took
shocking revenge…
Turning off my car engine, I opened the door to be greeted by a man holding a glass of wine.
‘Lovely to meet you
at last,’ Robert said, handing me the drink and a note before I’d even got out of the car.
‘What does it say?’ I said, trying to decipher the badly written Welsh – my native language.
‘It says, When can I kiss you, he grinned.
He’s a fast mover, I thought
to myself.
I’d talked to Robert, a farmer, for years over the phone as part of my job in the same industry.
We’d become friends and shared details about our lives, but this was the first time we’d ever actually met.
A year before, I’d lost my long-term partner suddenly
and had taken voluntary redundancy, needing time
to grieve and regroup.
Robert had found out I’d left and given his number to a friend, who’d passed it on to me.
I was flattered – and when
I’d felt ready I’d called him.
Knowing I loved animals, he had invited me
to his farm to meet his goats.
I was a mum-of-four, and wasn’t
in the market
for love. Plus, looks-wise, he wasn’t my type.
But Robert was persistent.
After I left, he called me every day and we spoke for hours.
Six weeks on, I went to visit him again.
One thing led to another – and later, he turned to me in bed.
‘I’ve fallen for you,’ he said. ‘Will you marry me?’
It was very quick, but I felt as
if we knew each other.
‘Yes, but as long as we stay engaged for a while!’ I said, making sure we gave things time.
Eventually, he moved in with me and my adult daughter Jo.
Only as time went on, I realised Robert couldn’t give me the emotional support I needed. Often, all he seemed to care about was sex.
Two years later, my eldest son Clive took his own life at 31.
I was distraught, but instead of supporting me, Robert lost his rag.
‘What are you crying for?’ he said. ‘People lost whole families in the war.’
Friends told me he wasn’t right for me, and my children didn’t
like him, but I was completely numb and didn’t have the strength to leave.
And when he suggested tying the knot at the register office soon after, I thought it meant
he loved me.
Tragically, four years later one of my other sons, Jamie, died
by suicide too. He was just 32 and it came as a huge shock.
To lose two of
my four children in such a way was impossible to bear.
I turned to friends for comfort, because Robert wasn’t there for me.
'I promise things will change'
Over the years I grew increasingly unhappy and tried to leave Robert several times, but nearing my 60s I was worried I wouldn’t meet anyone else.
Is it a case of better the devil you know?
I thought.
Time passed and I started a new job.
It gave me a new lease of life and I made a group of friends.
Meanwhile, Robert would spend hours tinkering with
his vintage tractors – most of which I’d shelled out for – and didn’t lift a finger to help me
with the chores.
One day, he accused me of having an affair with one of my male pals.
By now, I’d had enough and went to confront him.
‘We need to have a break,’
I said to him.
‘I know I take you for granted,’ he agreed. ‘But I promise things will change.’
Despite my better judgement,
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Three days on, I was laid up in bed with a stomach bug when Robert climbed in beside me and moved his face close to mine.
I thought he was going to kiss me, but he clamped his teeth around my lip and bit down hard.
It was such a shock, and
I didn’t understand what was happening.
I felt something run down my face and realised it was blood.
Suddenly he straddled me and put his hands around my throat.
‘You’re going to die,’ he said. ‘Die, b**** – I’m going to f***ing kill you today.’
I was terrified he would kill me. I’d never seen him so angry.
I tried to kick him and wriggle away, but he was too strong.
‘Help, help!’ I screamed, gasping for breath, but he squeezed my throat again. Eventually, I managed to get free and fell on to the floor.
If I can just get to
the bedroom door,
I thought, starting to crawl towards it.
Then he jumped on top of me, put me in a headlock and strangled me from behind.
Suddenly Jo came rushing in, her features contorted in shock as she saw my blood-covered face.
She tried to get to her phone, but he knocked
it away.
Jo pushed and kicked Robert, screaming, ‘Get off Mum, leave her alone!’
As she tried to pull
him off me, I seized my chance to escape.
I ran halfway down the stairs – still in
my nightdress and pouring with blood – then stopped.
‘I’m not leaving without you,’
I shouted to Jo.
With a final push, she shoved Richard over and we ran off together. He was hot on our heels, but I grabbed the keys and raced to the car.
‘The first person we see, we’ll stop and tell them to call the police,’ I said to Jo.
As we drove over the hill,
I saw a carer leaving someone’s house. We stopped and I turned to her, in tears.
‘Please call the police,’ I said. ‘My husband tried to kill me.’
Shocked by the sight of
the blood, she dialled 999 straightaway.
Within minutes, the police arrived.
They wanted to take me to hospital, but I couldn’t face it and went to see the GP instead. My neck was black and blue and I could see two of Robert’s fingerprints on my throat.
Officers told me Robert had injured himself and was receiving treatment.
I was relieved that he’d been arrested.
Afterwards,
I struggled to cope.
I thought I could deal with what had happened after grieving the loss of two sons, but I needed support.
It was difficult to come to terms with the fact that someone I trusted had wanted to kill me. But all I was given was a leaflet.
Jo was affected too and couldn’t go back to the house after what she’d seen.
In time, Robert Pinnington, 65, pleaded guilty to assault causing actual bodily harm, making a threat to kill, and intentional strangulation at Caernarfon Crown Court.
He was sentenced to three years in prison and given a 15-year restraining order against me and Jo.
Standing up in court, I read
out my victim impact statement, in which I described how his attack had made me feel worthless and ashamed.
I wanted to look him in the eye, but he only appeared by video link.
Later, I was sickened when
I found out Robert had been released after serving just
14 months of his sentence. I feel angry and let down.
Looking back, I believe that Robert preyed on me when I was vulnerable and he was emotionally abusive throughout our relationship.
After everything I’ve suffered, I know I’ll get through this too with the help of my loved ones.
Now I’m sharing my story to warn other women to stay away from Robert.
He is a violent abuser who will never change.
Angela Pinnington, 62, Caernarfon
● The free, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline number is 0808 2000 247.