The menopause had knocked me for six. But then my daughter threw down a challenge. By Debbie Hughes, 56
As I zipped up the back of my daughter Heidi’s dress, I smiled.
‘How does it fit?’ I asked.
‘Amazing, Mum, I love it,’ she replied.
‘You look fab,’ I added.
Heidi was 14 and about to enter her first pageant, Miss Teen GB.
I’d competed in pageants myself when I was younger, and it had become a big part of my life.
It’s how I’d met some of my best friends and it had even inspired my business – a prom dress shop in my home town of Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire.
Now, having watched some pageants with me, Heidi had caught the bug.
'You should enter'
Even though I hadn’t competed myself for years, helping Heidi prepare for hers reminded me just how much I loved and missed it.
Clapping madly as she took to the stage, I thought maybe being a pageant mum wasn’t a bad way to enjoy the glitz and glamour I missed.
Years later, when the Covid lockdowns hit, I had time to think. What I realised was that life was too short – and maybe, even at 52, I could compete in pageants again.
So when restrictions lifted, I decided to get myself back out there after seeing they’d announced an over-45s category in the Ms Classic GB contest.
‘Oh, Mum, it’s definitely a sign!’ Heidi said.
For two years in a row, I entered, and while I didn’t win, I did place. And most importantly, I got back the buzz of having my hair and make-up done, and strutting on stage.
But then the menopause hit and I struggled so much with my symptoms that I was admitted to hospital.
Instead of competing that year, I ended up sitting at home watching it with Heidi.
During the ad break, they advertised the following year’s contest.
‘Mum, you should enter again!’ Heidi said.
‘I’m not sure,’ I replied, my confidence low after my menopause struggles.
‘If you enter, I’ll enter Miss Great Britain and we can compete together,’ Heidi insisted, and that gave me the push I needed.
We quickly put in our applications and were both offered places in the final.
When we arrived, we were whisked off to rehearsals where we learnt a dance routine. We also practised for the fashion, swimwear, and evening rounds.
When the competition finally began after two days of rehearsals, we were both buzzing with excitement.
At 55, I was the oldest in my category, but that didn’t worry me.
In the last couple of pageants I’d done, I’d struggled with brain fog and hot flushes. But having started HRT, I was coping much better with my menopause symptoms.
Heidi was up first and I couldn’t help taking a peek at her from the side of the stage as I got ready.
But then the make-up artist gave me a nudge.
‘Come on, Debbie, you’ve got to get ready, it’s nearly your turn!’ she said.
Soon, it was me strutting my stuff and knowing I was sharing the stage with my beautiful daughter gave me an extra lift.
'You can do anything you put your mind to'
Heidi came 15th in her category and I was so proud of her.
Then it was time to announce the winner in my category, and I was amazed when I heard my name being called out. I thought there must’ve been a mistake!
After being handed a sash, crown, and bouquet of flowers. I was quickly rushed off stage to have my make-up touched up so I could give a speech and do interviews.
‘I want women to know, no matter what their age, they can do anything they set their minds to,’ I said to the audience, who all clapped and cheered.
That day really taught me not to let menopause get in the way of anything I want to do.
I’ve become a menopause advocate for other working women and have my own platform, Talking Taboo.
I really hope my story inspires other women struggling with the symptoms this change brings to realise they don’t have to put their lives on hold.
Pictures: Brian Hayes photography and Charlotte Clemie photography