Monette’s friends all knew she was desperate for love — but they were aghast at how many times it was taking to find Mr Right...
As the man and woman before me embraced each other, the curtains closed, and the audience erupted into applause.
I remained seated, eyes glued to the stage, with tears streaming down my face.
‘Monette!’ exclaimed my mum. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I miss my husband,’ I sobbed.
I was three years old. But even at that tender age, I was already devoted to finding my soul mate.
We’d been watching a theatre show and, in the final scene, the actors had got married.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
My parents had that movie-like love.
Every night I’d watch my mum fall asleep in my dad’s arms, as they sat on the sofa.
Every morning, he made sure Mum was the last person he kissed goodbye when he left for work — she was also the first person he kissed hello when he returned.
Tragically, when I was 15, Dad passed away.
The pain we felt was indescribable.
One day, when I was 18, I was watching a sports match played by some local boys in the area. I caught eyes with one of the players who I had dated briefly. He looked so gorgeous and cool.
‘I’m going to marry that guy,’ I said to my sister.
We re-ignited our flame but, coming from a strict religious background, I couldn’t have sex before marriage.
But we had a way around that.
‘Let’s get married,’ my boyfriend suggested.
Unable to suppress our burning desires, we eloped and tied the knot.
My husband was extremely laid-back, whereas I was so vivacious and full of life.
Ten years and three children later, we divorced.
'He looked so gorgeous and cool'
After my divorce, a new fella started at work.
He was sex on legs.
All the female colleagues wanted him, and he revelled in it.
‘Monette, you won’t date me because I’m not rich enough for you,’ he said.
‘No, I won’t date you because you’re a pig,’ I smirked.
But I couldn’t resist his tantalising good looks.
Working with him and being unable to seal the deal was agonising.
I’d want him then and there, on the photocopier.
So, we began dating, and six months later, we married.
It was nothing fancy, just in a register office with two other guests.
But he was far too immature, and a year later we divorced.
However, eight months after the divorce, we bumped into each other in a shop.
He was looking drop-dead gorgeous and those feelings of lust came flooding back.
And, well, six weeks later, we remarried!
I ended up falling pregnant, but my husband became very jealous, and we divorced — again — a year and a half later.
Still hopeful, I signed up to a dating site.
I met a man on there and we hit it off on our first date.
He had three kids, so I thought we were a great match.
So much so, that I married him two months later.
Sadly, we divorced after five months.
But one day, a year later, I went for a walk and had a premonition.
I’m going to meet a man tomorrow who will become my husband, I found myself saying.
Something was telling me inside.
The next evening, I was in a karaoke bar with my friends when a man approached me and asked for my number.
He likes his drink, I thought, which I found off-putting.
The premonition, I reminded myself. Could it be him?
‘I have to tell you something,’ he began. ‘Last night I dreamt of a beautiful woman with long brown hair and gorgeous eyes. I think it was you.’
I fell absolutely head over heels with him.
‘Why don’t we get married tomorrow?’ he suggested a month later.
I so badly wanted to become his wife.
So, just 24 hours later, we put together the most beautiful wedding with 30 guests.
It was the first time I had married wearing an actual wedding dress.
Sadly, his love of drink took over and he became abusive, so after two and a half years, we called it a day.
I was crushed, but it spurred me on to find love again.
Next was hubby number five who I married and divorced twice.
It seemed I still had that guilt about having sex out of wedlock.
It didn’t take me long to get back into online dating.
I began speaking to a man who lived four hours away and when we met, there was an instant connection.
We spoke all night long.
‘I’ve fallen in love with you,’ he said the following day.
It seemed soon, but I wasn’t one to judge.
‘Marry me,’ he said a week later.
And in true Monette fashion, I did.
'Why don't we get married tomorrow?'
But it was clear we didn’t know each other at all so, again in Monette fashion, I divorced him six weeks later.
One evening, my friends were out for dinner when they called and said I needed to join them as they were dining with ‘my perfect match’.
‘I’m too tired,’ I said.
‘Come, or you’ll regret it,’ my pal said, persuading me.
So, I got myself ready and joined them.
A fine-looking man was sitting at the table with them, and a seat was left for me, right beside him.
We got chatting, and really hit it off.
‘Put my number in your phone,’ he said.
But when it came to adding his name, I already had three other men with the same name in my contacts. Luckily, he saw the funny side.
We began dating and decided we’d get married in a couple of months.
However, one day three weeks later he called me.
‘I don’t want to wait another second, I’m marrying you today,’ he said.
And so, I left my work desk and popped out at lunch and got hitched!
Sadly, the marriage ended after four months.
At that point in my life, I felt conflicted with my religion and decided to leave it.
Not having the pressure of being married to have sex certainly made me slow down in my relationships.
One day, I was scrolling through Facebook when I received a friend request.
‘Holy cow!’ I gasped.
A man I’d grown up with had reconnected with me after 20 years. We began messaging, and when we met up we really clicked.
It felt like no time had passed at all.
Most importantly, he had known my dad, which meant so much to me.
We did get married, but waited six months, which for me was a long time. He was husband number eight — although it was my 10th wedding.
But a month into married life we realised that we were better off as friends.
By that point, I felt like I could have signed the divorce papers with my eyes closed.
Then one day, I connected with another old flame, via social media. I had known this man back when I was married to hubby number two.
He was 14 years younger than me and had a huge crush on me.
Although I was determined not to rush into marriage, it occurred to me that if we did, it would be my 11th marriage.
‘Wouldn’t it be cool if I got married for the eleventh time on the eleventh of November 2011,’ I said to a pal. ‘Maybe it would bring me luck?’
By that point, we would have been together a year, which would be the longest I had ever waited before getting married.
We went ahead and wed, but the special date brought me anything but luck, as the marriage ended in divorce yet again.
I got engaged numerous times after. I even went to a marriage bootcamp which taught me a lot about myself.
I learnt that one reason why I ended so many of my marriages was because I was determined to never let a man cause me the pain that I felt after my dad died.
I never let the relationships get serious enough or let myself love them so much so I didn’t get hurt.
I vowed to not get married again unless I knew for sure that he would be The One.
I know what you’re thinking…
I couldn’t not marry. But a year went by, then two and three. Before I knew it, it was 10 years since my last marriage.
Now I’m still enjoying my life as a single pringle, but I’m certain one day I’ll meet Mr Right. And once that ring is on my finger, there’s no way it’s coming off!
Monette Dias, 53