My New Year’s bloat was a baby!

Lorna was suffering from the dreaded Christmas bloat. Then, at a party, more than the prosecco corks were popping…

Wrapping the last present, I placed it underneath the sparkling Christmas tree with the others.

It was my baby girl Vivienne’s first Christmas, so I wanted to make it extra special.

But my festive spirit was somewhat dampened as I felt extremely exhausted and sad.

Vivienne was six months old, and was going through a phase of broken sleep and crying every time I put her down.

‘I’m absolutely cream crackered,’ I sighed to my partner Nick, sitting down on the couch. ‘Hopefully the festive period can perk me up.’

‘I’m sure we’ll have a great time,’ he smiled.

A couple of months earlier, I’d had a contraceptive implant after Nick and I decided not to have any more children.

I loved being a mum to my little girl, but we were happy to stop there. We were young and still had our whole lives ahead of us.

I planned to be on the implant for a few years, and if we still didn’t want any more children after that, then Nick would get the snip.

In the lead up to Christmas, I spent a lot of time with my family, who fussed over Vivienne.

Soon, it was Christmas Day. And as we opened presents and celebrated together, I still found it hard to get into the festive spirit.

‘Top up?’ Nick asked, holding a bottle of wine above my glass.

‘No, I’m OK, thanks,’ I said, happy with the one glass.

It was unlike me to refuse more booze, but I just didn’t have the stomach for it.

At dinner time, I tucked into turkey with all the trimmings, and then helped myself to the tin of Celebrations making the rounds while we sat and watched telly.

Maybe I’ll feel better by New Year’s Eve, I hoped.

But by the time 31 December rolled round, I felt worse.

‘Just take it easy tonight,’ Nick said, seeing how drained I looked.

To see in the new year, once Vivienne was down, we curled up on the couch and had some quiet drinks at home.

‘I don’t think I’m going to make it to midnight,’ I yawned, feeling so tired.

I just hoped that in the new year I would get used to motherhood and juggling life with a baby.

Only, a few days into January, I felt bloated.

‘Oww!’ I winced, at the uncomfortable pain in my stomach.

Pulling up my top in the mirror, I noticed that my tummy had got slightly rounder.

‘I must have overdone it at Christmas,’ I said to myself, thinking back to all the food and drink I’d consumed, on little to no sleep.

I tried to keep active, but my clothes were feeling so tight, that I resorted to living in leggings and baggy blouses and tops.

One day, I was leaving the house with Vivienne when I bumped into my neighbour.

‘Are you having a second?’ she smiled, pointing at my stomach.

I felt so embarrassed.

Is my stomach really that noticeable? I thought.

The idea that I might be pregnant had never crossed my mind. After all, the implant was 99 per cent effective.

To be on the safe side, I took a pregnancy test.

Negative.

Just what I expected.

But people continued to make the same mistake.

‘Wow, congratulations, another baby!’ another neighbour said to Nick, as I walked next to him.

It became a common occurrence for strangers to look at my belly and smile at me when I was out shopping.

I thought about my implant.

I’d read about how it could cause side effects, including weight gain.

Worried, I spoke to a doctor over the phone about having it removed.

‘I would carry on with the implant,’ the doctor advised.

But by now, my stomach was so bloated and uncomfortable, I’d reached breaking point.

My hormones were all over the place too.

So I went back to the doctor’s and had my implant taken out.

The GP also examined my extremely round stomach.

‘It feels and looks like you have water retention,’ she said. ‘Come back in six weeks.’

Two weeks went by, when early one morning, at 4am, I woke up with really bad period pains.

Must be my period coming on, I thought, as I still hadn’t bled after my implant had been removed.

Three hours later, I was up making breakfast when discharge gushed from between my legs.

I ran to the loo and cleaned myself up.

Once again, I put it down to my period. I popped a paracetamol to ease the pain and carried on.

It was the day of my friend Sophie’s party, and I was looking forward to letting my hair down while Nick looked after Vivienne for the evening.

The paracetamol seemed to do the trick, and for a while I felt better. Only, by the time my friend Daisy and I were on the way to Sophie’s party at around 5pm, I was suffering again.

‘I’m in agony,’ I said to Daisy.

‘I think you should take a pregnancy test,’ she said.

‘I’m not pregnant, Daisy,’ I insisted.

‘Just take one anyway,’ she replied.

So I stopped to buy one and, as soon as I got to Sophie’s, made a beeline for the bathroom.

Just as I thought, the pregnancy test was negative.

‘Well, there’s only one thing for it,’ I joked. ‘I’ll just have to drink through the pain!’

My friend made me a Pimms cocktail, which I sipped on.

But by 9pm, I was in so much agony I couldn’t speak.

‘We need to get you to hospital,’ Daisy said, as I doubled over.

Daisy drove me there, and I called Nick en route to tell him to join us.

Once at hospital, medics performed a scan of my bladder to check for water infections.

But during the examination, the consultant looked closely at the monitor.

‘I’ve spotted a heartbeat,’ she gasped. ‘Lorna, you’re pregnant.’

‘I’m what?’ I spluttered.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

‘Let me see how far gone you are,’ she said, as she continued to examine me.

‘You’re 4cm dilated and in labour,’ she said, astounded. ‘We need to get you to the maternity ward straightaway.’

I was in complete shock.

I’d been told by a doctor that I had water retention. But now, I was being told that I was 38 weeks pregnant — and in labour.

A few hours earlier, I’d been at a party downing drinks!

Hours later, I gave birth to my baby girl, who weighed 8lb 2oz.

‘She’s beautiful,’ Nick smiled, as he cradled her in his arms.

We called her Daphne.

I was so relieved she was healthy.

After all, I’d done lots of things you weren’t supposed to in pregnancy — including drinking alcohol!

We were well enough to be discharged the same day.

I’d got rid of Vivienne’s things, so we were so grateful when family and friends helped us to find new baby essentials.

Now, I am still adjusting to life as a mum of two girls.

I’m not sure why the pregnancy tests were negative, even when I was going into labour!

I’m also sad that I don’t have any bump photos, like I have with Vivienne.

I still relive the night of Sophie’s party every day. As the corks were popping, so were my waters!

Lorna Goodings, 26, Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire