After the loss of her loved ones, Jane decided to embrace her eccentric side and even found a new way to dominate the world...
Placing a bouquet of flowers on my father’s grave, I felt a pang of loneliness. Visiting the graveyard had become a daily ritual and although I was trying to plaster on a smile, truthfully, I was struggling.
In recent years, I’d lost many loved ones, including my mum, husband and best friend. However, the death of my dad had hit me even harder, especially as I’d been his carer throughout his experience with Parkinson’s disease. Without Dad, I didn’t know what to do with myself any more. We were close and very similar people – both the life and soul of the party.
'You've got nowhere to put that energy'
One day, I confided in a friend that I’d been feeling down. ‘You’re an extrovert,’ she said. ‘And now you’ve got nowhere to put that energy.’ I realised she was right, and knowing I needed help, I went to counselling. It really changed my perspective. After experiencing all that death, my sessions made me realise I needed to embrace life, get out there and have some fun.
Being 4ft 11in, I realised I was more able to get away with things. What I lacked in height, I more than made up for in self-esteem! I’d always dressed extravagantly and had previously been in trouble in office jobs for wearing bright colours. But now, it was time to embrace who I was, so I took it to the next level. I started plastering blue shadow over my eyes as my signature look.
Acting and performing had always been a dream of mine, so I started trying to get my name out there. I applied for various shows, and the following year, my dream came true when I was invited to the televised audition rounds of The X Factor. Dressing for the occasion, I wore a fitted black top and pink tutu. My finishing touch was a plastic snake, named Mr Fangtastic, wrapped around my neck.
As I stood in the wings of the stage, I was terrified. I knew I wasn’t a great singer and I thought of myself as more of a comedian. But as soon as Steppenwolf’s Born to Be Wild blasted through the speakers and I started dancing around the stage and singing my heart out, the feeling was euphoric. I couldn’t get enough.
I did the splits to the cheers of the audience, and the judges – including Simon Cowell – seemed to love my acrobatic dance moves. ‘Jane, I am forever grateful to you for making me laugh,’ Rita Ora said after my performance. Although I didn’t make it through to the next round, it was the start of my TV career and opened doors to other shows.
I appeared on OAPs Behaving Badly, Come Dine with Me and Tattoo Fixers Extreme, on which I got a snake inked on to my leg. Not only a nod to my time on The X Factor, it also linked to the fact I was born in the Chinese year of the snake. I even went on Naked Attraction – standing there starkers wasn’t going to scare me. And when my episode was shown on Celebrity Gogglebox, I watched Tom Jones comment on my vajazzle, thinking it was a tattoo. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Although I’d wear provocative clothes and show my cheeky side on TV, it wasn’t who I was in my downtime. I saw it as more of a persona. With more time spent in the public eye, I started gaining a fan base online. I collaborated with YouTubers, Beta Squad, and even took up rapping. Young people thought my flamboyance was great, and I was often stopped on the street for selfies.
Although my friends were also supportive of my exuberance, I soon realised I wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Specifically, it was people my own age who were hesitant to warm towards me. But I put it down to me being different, which makes me unpredictable. In fairness I am – even I don’t know what I’m going to do next! Yet I didn’t let any negative comments bother me.
One day, someone on the street told me, ‘You look like a drag queen.’ ‘Drag queens look great,’ I replied quickly, because I truly believe they do. I knew they were trying to bring me down a peg or two, but I liked to turn things around to see the positive. Besides, plenty of other people told me I was inspirational.
Scrolling through my social media accounts one day, I noticed a message had popped up. It was from a man and read, I want to lick your feet. Normally, I wouldn’t let a man touch me, but this seemed harmless enough. For a while, I’d perceived a lot of men as disrespectful and solely about sexual gratification, rather than romance or courting. This seemed like the perfect opportunity. I decided I could ‘punish’ men, while also getting some money on the side. This was the start of my work as a dominatrix.
In time, my clientele grew, with men ranging in age from 20 to 70 and from all different professions. I would put them in cages, only letting them out to cook, clean or do some gardening. My one strict rule was that they couldn’t touch me and everyone kept to it. Despite what people may have thought of me, I was celibate, and I had my limits. After receiving the money, I’d put it in a pot to pay for my heating bill.
For further cash, I started doing club appearances. That led to me being invited to Stormzy’s House Party club in Soho, London, where the rapper was hosting a stag do. After putting on my PVC get-up and pink fascinator, I grabbed my whip. It was time to kick off the party. There was a grandad wearing a lead, so I walked him like a dog when I came in.
I followed the scantily clad dancers and a man with dwarfism dressed as a police officer. They were all so lovely, calling me ‘auntie’ as a show of respect. As I leapt forward and did the splits, I looked up and saw Stormzy himself. He was beautiful, and very shy – not an extrovert like me. After finishing my performance, Stormzy took my hand and kissed my cheek. ‘I think you are amazing,’ he said, as we snapped a picture. Then he disappeared.
'I'm more hardcore than Stormzy'
I spent the night in the kitchen area of the house, dancing to the disco soundtrack and doing splits to the cheers of the crowd. In fact, I made such an impression that I performed at the club again for Halloween. After arriving at 8pm, my shift finished at 2am. By the time I got home and in bed, it was 6am. ‘I’m more hardcore than Stormzy, you know,’ I joked to my friends.
And there’s plenty more in the pipeline. I’ve recently filmed a pilot for new TV show, All Together Tavern, and I plan to continue acting and raising money for charity. Who knows what the future holds, but I’m up for anything. I don’t have children, so I feel proud that when I’m no longer here, I’ll have left a legacy behind. I’ve had a good life, and I look back and feel happy about what I’ve done since overcoming the difficult times.
Now, instead of visiting my parents’ graves every day, I go once a week. They would have wanted me to keep living my life, and that’s certainly what I’m doing. I’m eccentric, extravagant and gregarious – and I’d have it no other way. Although there’s a stigma with ageing, I don’t let that hold me back. I’ll proudly hold the title of the UK’s naughtiest OAP!
Jane Buckle, 71, Hungerford, Berkshire