Stuck in a rut in my marriage, I gave in to temptation. And now it was time to confess all. By Jane Carter, 65
As I looked up, my eyes widened and my jaw practically hit the floor. Standing in front of me was a strapping man in uniform, with the most beautiful green eyes I’d ever seen.
I thought, Ooh, he’s nice!
Quickly followed by, Oh heck, I’m in trouble now!
I was at a training camp
for Army Cadet instructors, and I was very distracted by the handsome stranger.
But there was a problem, and it was a big one.
I was married.
At 38, I’d already had
a roller coaster of a love life.
My first husband left me after 17 years for my best friend.
I had married hubby number two on the rebound. But a year in, we were already on the rocks, and I’d joined the Cadets to escape the tension back home.
Starting a new relationship was the last thing on my mind but, as we hiked across rugged terrain and swapped life stories, a flirtatious friendship blossomed between me and the rugged stranger.
His name
was Don, and
we discovered we shared a passion for rock’n’roll, and we both lived in Essex – me in Colchester and him in Chelmsford.
‘I’m unhappy in my marriage,’ I said, and he
told me he was separated.
Then one day, I got stuck under barbed wire on the assault course.
'I've fallen for someone else'
At 19st, I’d battled with
my weight for years, and as
I strained to move, my cheeks flamed with embarrassment.
But Don was my knight in shining armour and raced to my rescue.
The truth was, I fancied him like crazy, but it was his kindness that impressed
me the most.
I’m falling for him,
I thought, terrified and thrilled all at once.
My marriage was all but over but I was torn, wanting to do the right thing while,
at the same time, yearning
to be in Don’s arms.
By the end of the two-week training camp, emotions were running high, and one day Don reached for my hand and pulled me towards him.
The air around us seemed to crackle with electricity and suddenly, we were kissing.
‘I’m sorry,
I shouldn’t have done that,’ he said.
‘No, it’s about time!’ I laughed, giving in to
my feelings.
Back home,
I ended things with my husband, and Don and
I started seeing each other.
I had four teenagers from my first marriage, and he
was wonderful with them.
The first time we were intimate, I was nervous about undressing because of my size, but Don said it didn’t matter. He made me feel special and it was as if we fitted together.
But when it came to tying the knot, Don was adamant.
‘I’m not getting married again,’ he said.
So, a couple of years later,
I asked Don and his parents for their permission to change my surname to his
by deed poll, as a sign of
my commitment.
A year later, we were out and, after a few drinks, Don suddenly said, ‘Why don’t
we get married?’
I was delighted but
I wanted to be sure it wasn’t the drink talking, so I said, ‘Ask me tomorrow when you’re sober.’
He did, and we had a small register office do in front of our loved ones. Don looked dashing in a red tartan kilt, and I wore a gold lace top and satin skirt.
It was the perfect day,
and then we settled happily into married life.
However, five years later, something happened that changed everything.
Don was made redundant, and it hit him hard.
From being so dynamic, he became someone who sat at home all day in his joggers.
I desperately tried to help him, but he refused to talk about things. We’d never been able to keep our hands off each other before, but our love life virtually disappeared.
One evening, we were supposed to be going out, but Don was still on the sofa in his scruffy clothes.
Feeling fed up, I said, ‘I’m going by myself, then.’
After that, I went out alone most weeks.
Sometimes, men would come over to talk to me and, while I wasn’t interested,
I couldn’t deny that the attention was flattering.
One day, I did something rash. I found myself logging onto an online dating site. Before I knew it, I’d matched with someone and we’d arranged to meet.
I was wracked with guilt but, feeling lonely,
I went along.
Max was tall
and tanned, and exuded charm.
'Why didn't you fight for me?'
‘I like curvy women,’ he said, undressing me with his sexy blue eyes.
He was more than 10 years younger than me, and it was
a boost to my flagging ego. Despite trying to resist it, the attraction was too strong and I ended up sleeping with him.
‘Come and live with me,’ Max said. ‘We’ll have a brilliant life together.’
He promised me the world, and I told him, ‘I’ll leave
my husband.’
A few days later, I plucked up the courage to talk to Don.
‘I’ve fallen for someone else,’ I said. ‘He’s offering me a new life.’
I waited for Don to say something, but he didn’t.
I’d never stopped loving him, but I was so fed up
with my life.
Tell me not to leave, I wanted to scream, knowing that I’d stay if he just said
the word.
But, although he looked heartbroken, there was
only silence.
As I packed my bags, tears rolled down my face.
I moved in with Max, but
it didn’t take long for me to realise that I’d made a huge mistake. He was so controlling.
But I felt too ashamed to leave, so I stuck it out, and my pride wouldn’t allow
me to tell Don that I still
had feelings for him.
After a couple of miserable years, though, I’d had enough, and I confided in my daughter Emma on the phone.
‘You have to
get away, Mum,’
she said.
So, a few days later, and taking just one bag, I fled the house and went to stay with my mum.
A week later, there was
a knock on the door.
I opened it and gasped.
‘Don!’ I said. ‘What are
you doing here?’
‘Emma told me you were back,’ he replied. ‘Would you like to go for a drink?’
‘I’d love that,’ I said.
Don explained that he’d kept in touch with my children and knew what I’d been through. He’d never stopped loving me.
And I realised I’d never stopped loving him.
‘I regretted leaving you every single day,’ I said. ‘Why didn’t you fight for me?’
Don took my hands in his.
‘I loved you too much
to hold you back,’ he said. ‘But now I wished I’d said something to stop you.’
After that, we went home together, and it was as if
we’d never been apart.
‘I’m so sorry I betrayed you,’ I said, as we snuggled up in bed. ‘It will never happen again.’
And a couple of years later, I took the next step.
‘Don,’ I said to him,
‘will you remarry me?’
His eyes brimmed and
he said, ‘Absolutely.’
Some friends hadn’t forgiven me for what I’d
done to Don, but most people were happy for us.
‘You’re back where you belong,’ Emma said.
Thirteen years after our first wedding, we tied the knot at a farmhouse in front of just 20 guests.
Don’s son-in-law serenaded us with Foster & Allen’s After All These Years. It couldn’t have reflected our love story more aptly.
After the wedding, I joined Slimming World and I’m
now 10st lighter than when we first met.
I feel sad when I think of all the years that we were apart, and the silver anniversary we would have marked this year.
I was a fool to let my soulmate go, but I’m so grateful we found our way back to each other again.
Don, 67, told Take a Break, ‘Being apart from Jane was the darkest time of my life. I kept in touch with her side of the family and couldn’t resist trying to see her again once I heard she was back home. Luckily, we hit it off again and remarried.’
• Max's name has been changed