My 11-year-old daughter had a passion for protecting the environment. So, when the unthinkable happened, I knew what I needed to do. By Steve Pritchard, 44
A small figure cuddled into me on the sofa and we watched bees on telly hop between flowering plants.
It was Friday evening, and as usual, my 11-year-old daughter Matilda and I were watching Blue Peter.
‘Bees are so important for the world,’ she said.
She was a kind and compassionate little girl.
And being Autistic gave Matilda a focus on many different things, especially nature and Bee's.
She’d spend hours on the computer, researching them.
When she found out bees were in global decline, she was keen to spread the word.
One day, we were on a family walk with her mum Anna and sister Olivia, when Matilda spotted something.
‘What’s that bird doing?’ she asked.
In a tree, a bird was using a piece of plastic to make its nest.
Matilda was horrified by this sign of pollution and wanted to do something about it.
So, back at our home in Pudsey, West Yorkshire, we went online and found a local litter picking group.
The following weekend, our family turned up to help tidy.
‘Let’s go!’ Matilda shouted, as she ran ahead of me in her Hi Vis vest, swinging a litter picking stick.
Hours later, we’d filled several big purple bags with rubbish.
I felt exhausted.
But Matilda was full of beans.
‘Look at how much we’ve collected, that’s amazing!’ she said.
From then on, our Saturdays were spent litter picking.
The litter picking group were all so lovely to Matilda.
One day, she stood surveying the bags of rubbish we’d collected.
‘There’s not as many as last time,’ she said, looking upset.
‘That’s because you and your friends have been doing such a good job,’ I explained.
Matilda’s face lit up as she realised the difference she was making.
‘I dream of a world without litter!’ she said.
I smiled.
‘Maybe one day we’ll get there,’ I said.
I wanted Matilda to know how great she was and how she made me so proud.
So, I arranged a surprise.
Weeks later, a large enveloped arrived in the post.
Matilda tore it open and her eyes widened when she pulled out the small badge with the iconic ship logo.
‘They’ve sent me a Blue Peter badge!’ she shouted.
But it wasn’t an ordinary badge, Matilda had been awarded a green badge for kids who’d done something to help protect the planet.
As time passed, she took up other hobbies to help the environment.
Then one night, I tucked her into bed.
‘Love you sweetheart,’ I said.
‘Love you too pappa,’ she replied.
Next morning, it was the school holidays and I waited for Matilda to get up.
But time ticked along and she didn’t appear.
So, Anna and I went upstairs to fetch her.
As we entered her bedroom, it was quiet.
'I dream of a world without litter'
I stepped closer to the bed and realised something that made my stomach drop.
Matilda wasn’t breathing.
I cried out: ‘Matilda!’
My hands trembled as Anna phoned the emergency services.
A call handler talked me through CPR, but when I described how Matilda’s body was stiff and her lips blue, the woman on the other end changed her tone and told me it was OK if I didn’t want to carry on.
‘I’ll carry on for as long as it takes,’ I said.
But in my heart, I knew we were too late.
Paramedics arrived quickly and Matilda was rushed to hospital.
There, Anna and I held her hands and told her how much we loved her.
But nothing could be done to save Matilda.
She’d gone to bed and had never woken up.
We felt heartbroken and stunned, there’d been no sign that anything was wrong.
At the chapel of rest, she was dressed in a blue pyjamas – her favourite colour.
Her favourite comfort toy, Bonnie Bunny, who’d been with her from the moment she was born, lay by her side.
Later, a post-mortem revealed that Matilda suffered from arrhythmogenic right ventricular cardiomyopathy – a genetic defect of part of the heart muscles.
The grief came in waves that threatened to pull me under.
I needed a focus, and decided to set up a fundraiser in memory of Matilda, with the money going towards the environmental charity Keep Britain Tidy and their Eco-Schools educational programme.
I set a target of £11,213 to symbolise the date of Matilda’s birth – 11 February 2013.
I was amazed when we raised the full amount in just a couple of weeks.
My family went back out with the local litter picking group. But the first time without Matilda, was agonising.
There was just a ghost of her racing ahead to try and pick up more pieces of litter than me, and a distant echo of her little laugh.
But the group were supportive.
Now, we pick litter regularly and we always make sure we go out on special occasions, such as Matilda’s birthday.
We’ve extended the fundraiser and are trying to raise £42,000 to fund five years worth of Eco-Schools projects – marking the five years Matilda would have been learning and growing at secondary school.
I hope that together, we’ll get one step closer to world without litter, just as Matilda dreamed of.
To support Steve, visit: https://www.justgiving.com/page/1712590495429