My perfect marriage was the envy of all my friends. But when my hubby didn’t come home one night, I made a sickening discovery. By Lisa Loveridge, 44
Home from a long day at work, I closed the front door behind me, exhausted.
Walking through to the kitchen, I found my partner Martin already cooking up a storm.
‘You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had,’ I groaned, kicking off my shoes.
‘There’s wine in the fridge,’ he said. ‘Now, tell me all about it.’
I’d been a single mum to my three kids for seven years, when I’d met Martin online. He was kind and caring, and there was just that spark.
Martin worked as a chef, and he had his life together. Often, I’d come home to find him whipping up a romantic tea, and we loved hosting my friends for dinner parties.
With Martin’s cooking skills, they always turned out to be fancy affairs.
I felt so proud whenever he placed a beautiful, home-made cheesecake down on the table.
He did the weekly food shopping, the ironing, the cleaning — he just couldn’t do enough for me.
Martin’s kindness extended to my kids too.
'Don't you fancy me any more?'
If any of them needed picking up or dropping off, he always offered to do it.
My friends constantly told me how they wished their relationships could be just like ours.
‘You’re too good to be true,’ I’d tell Martin.
Now, as I chatted through my day with him while he cooked, I couldn’t have felt happier.
When we’d been together 18 months, Martin handed me what I thought was a new charm for my bracelet.
Until I realised it was a tiny engagement ring!
‘Are you asking me to marry you?’ I said.
‘Yes, I am!’ he replied, grinning.
Ever the romantic, Martin suggested setting our wedding date for exactly three years to the day we first met. But almost as soon as we’d tied the knot, things started to seem off.
We’d always had a healthy sex life, but suddenly Martin just wasn’t interested.
‘Don’t you fancy me any more?’ I joked one night, as we lay in bed.
‘I’m just tired,’ he said. ‘Plus, I’m seven years older than you!’
But it was so unlike him.
What if he’s having an affair? I wondered.
The thought of my perfect new hubby cheating was torture. Yet everything in my gut was telling me he was up to something.
Six months into our marriage, we went on holiday with the kids.
Away from home, I could no longer hold in my suspicions.
When we were alone, I said: ‘I think you’re cheating on me.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he replied.
But I wouldn’t let up.
‘No, this is weird,’ I pushed. ‘Tell me what’s going on.’
Martin insisted he was just exhausted from work. But he’d always had a full-on career.
‘Something else is up, I’m not stupid,’ I snapped. ‘You can stay here, but I’m taking the kids home.’
He promised there was nothing to worry about and begged me not to leave, so eventually, I agreed to stay.
Over the next months, Martin continued to insist nothing was wrong as we tried to make more time for each other.
Then one evening, I came home from work ready for the date night we’d planned to find Martin wasn’t home.
Maybe he got stuck at work, I thought.
'The police are here!'
An hour passed, and I hadn’t heard anything from him. So, I drove down there and found his boss.
Something was clearly off as she insisted that I go into her office and sit down.
‘You haven’t heard?’ she asked.
‘Heard what?’ I replied, confused.
Then, with a deep sigh, she said: ‘Martin’s been arrested.’
‘What? ’I blurted. ‘Has he been in a fight or something?’
‘Nothing like that,’ she replied. ‘He’s been arrested for talking to children.’
Before I could properly take in what she said, my phone rang.
‘Mum…’ said my daughter down the line. ‘The police are here!’
I raced home to meet the officers, who handed me a search warrant for our house.
‘What going on?’ I pleaded.
An officer replied: ‘Your partner’s been caught online by vigilante paedophile hunters.’
Horrified, all I could do was watch as they gathered up all the laptops and tablets in the house.
Despite the problems Martin and I had been having, I was convinced all this was a horrible mistake.
An affair, maybe… But not this, I kept telling myself.
But the next day, someone sent me a video from the online vigilante group that had snared Martin.
I watched in shock as the video showed them walking up to Martin outside his workplace and presenting their evidence to him.
Martin admitted on camera that he’d sent sexual online messages to decoys, who he’d believed to be underage girls.
My stomach churned.
‘What do you think your wife’s going to say?’ asked one of the vigilantes.
‘It’ll be the end of my marriage,’ he mumbled.
‘Are you sorry?’ asked the vigilante.
Martin said nothing.
The group called the police, and Martin was arrested.
I’d thought it was a mistake, but now I’d seen this I realised the sickening truth.
My seemingly perfect husband had been trying to sexually communicate with underage girls.
Neither the kids nor I had suspected a thing. But when police found child pornography on his devices too, there really was no room for doubt and I immediately filed for divorce.
In time, Martin Sutheran, 40, appeared at Northampton Crown Court and admitted three charges of attempting to engage in sexual communication with a child and three of making indecent photographs or pseudo-photographs of a child.
I went to court to see him sentenced and when I caught Martin’s eye, he quickly looked away.
He looked so pathetic. But I wanted him to know that while he may have hurt me, he hadn’t broken me.
Martin was given a 12-month jail sentence, suspended for 21 months, plus 45 days rehabilitation activity and 120 hours of unpaid work. He was also given a 10-year sexual harm prevention order.
To my mind, he should have been put behind bars.
Martin’s kindness had been a mask all along, and beneath it was a sick predator.
Everybody knew what he’d done by now, and his crimes left my family in tatters.
Although friends and neighbours were kind and supportive, online trolls targeted me with cruel comments.
I was accused of being a bad mother for ever letting Martin live with us, and of ‘getting off’ on his crimes.
Some trolls even threatened me, and somebody spat on my son on the bus.
Martin’s betrayal also left me with trust issues. If he could pretend to be such a nice person while hiding such a dark, evil secret, how could I trust anyone?
Slowly but surely though, we’ve been able to pick up the pieces of our lives.
We watch out for each other, and I won’t let my kids go through this again.
While I don’t condone online vigilantes, it’s so important to teach your children about the dangers of speaking to people online. Being honest with them is vital for their own protection.
You never know what someone might be hiding. I learnt that one the hard way.