My husband had booked a helicopter ride as an anniversary surprise – but there was one big problem. By Nicola Mercer, 48
As the packet of crisps dangled inches from my face, I struggled to bite back the tears.
‘Do you want these?’ my classmate sneered, swinging the bag to and fro. ‘I bet you do!’
Mum’s advice rang in my ears.
‘Don’t show them it bothers you, love.’
I’d always been big. As an only child, Mum and Dad spoiled me, and never refused when I asked for cake or sweets.
Now, aged 11, I’d started secondary school, and wore a size 18-20.
It made me a target for bullies, and Mum didn’t know the best way to support me.
‘You’ve been good all week,’ she’d say when I’d made an effort to eat less junk food. ‘Why don’t we go to the chippy tonight?’
By the time I turned 16, I wore a dress size 26, and I felt devastated when my first boyfriend told me he was only going out with me ‘for a dare’.
But, a couple of years later, I was on a girls’ night out, when our taxi driver, Dave, gave me his card.
‘In case you need a taxi again,’ he said.
A few weeks later, I called the number to make a booking.
‘I’ve been waiting for you to phone,’ Dave said. ‘Can I take you out?’
Dave was eight years my senior, and wasn’t bothered about my size.
But his friends didn’t want to be seen with me, and asked Dave why he wanted to go out with a fat girl.
I tried to put on a brave face.
‘If you want to go out with them without me, it’s fine,’ I said.
'I don't want the hassle'
But Dave refused to ditch me for them.
‘I love you, and that’s not changing,’ he said.
Still, I wanted Dave’s friends to accept me.
So, I joined Slimming World and lost a couple of stone.
But, as soon as I stopped going to the sessions, I piled the weight back on.
Time passed.
Then, on holiday in Jamaica, Dave proposed.
He was keen to set a date, but I kept putting it off.
‘I don’t want the hassle of a “big day”’, I said.
But in truth, I was worried about how I’d look waddling down the aisle.
When we finally married, I weighed 28 stone, and had to source my size-32 wedding dress from a specialist shop in America.
I’d eat bacon, sausage or egg on toast for breakfast, before picking up a grab bag of cheese and onion crisps, or a family-sized bar of Dairy Milk, for the train journey to work.
In the office, I’d eat a ham salad for lunch. But I’d snack on biscuits, and instead of water, I drank coke.
For tea, I ate pizza and chips, or something else fatty.
Dave loved rollercoasters. But we had to stop going to theme parks, because the bars on rides wouldn’t fit over my tummy.
When our fifth wedding anniversary rolled around, we celebrated with a holiday in the Dominican Republic.
One afternoon, Dave told me he’d booked a helicopter ride as a surprise.
Later, as we waited next to the helipad, I felt excited.
But when the pilot landed, he took one look at me and frowned.
‘No,’ he said. ‘She’s too big to get on.’
My face flushed with humiliation.
‘OK then,’ I said, trying to sound chirpy. ‘Thank you.’
I left Dave to sort the cancellation, while I scurried back to the hotel and burst into tears.
When we returned home to the UK, I told Dave: ‘I’m not doing this any more.’
I visited my GP.
‘I need weight-loss surgery,’ I said.
When I stepped on the scales, I was stunned to see that I’d hit 33 stone.
There was a waiting list for surgery on the NHS, and I had to undergo several interviews before I finally had gastric bypass surgery.
It created a small upper pouch in my stomach, so I could only eat tiny amounts before feeling full.
In the months that followed, the weight dropped off, and I was delighted to get down to 13st 6lb and a size 14.
But I still hadn’t tackled my bad relationship with food.
The reduced size of my stomach meant I couldn’t eat large meals.
But I could graze, and I found myself constantly eating small meals and snacks.
Before I knew it, I weighed 16st 7lb.
I panicked and told Dave: ‘I can’t go back to the size I was.’
So, I joined a slimming group called Beeweighed, and the regular weigh-ins and talks helped me to stay on track.
At my home in Cheshire, I cooked healthy meals from scratch, and stopped buying sharing bags of treats.
I downloaded the ‘nutricheck’ app to keep an eye on what — and how much — I’d eaten each day.
In time, I started my own Beeweighed slimming group.
Now, I weigh 15 stone and my aim is to get to 13st 6lb.
I’ve accepted that there are no quick fixes, and it’s about lifestyle changes.
But I’m determined to stay in shape.
I never want to feel anything like my ‘helicopter shame’ again!
*For more information, visit beeweighed.co.uk