I was a fan of romantic films. But when it came to creating a love story of my own, I only had eyes for an older leading lady. By Natascha Graham, 33
As I sipped my tea and scrolled through a group page I followed on Facebook, a post caught my eye.
It read: Movie suggestions please.
I rarely responded to posts on the page. But for some reason, I decided to reply.
I listed all my favourites, including the Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan classics Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail.
Then I turned my attention back to my work and forgot about the post until a notification popped up.
A woman named Lori had responded to my comment.
She wrote: You’ve listed all my favourite movies!
We started messaging back and forth and taking over the thread with our messages.
I clicked on Lori’s profile picture and saw that she was an attractive woman with dark wavy hair and a beautiful smile.
I felt a flutter of excitement in my tummy.
But then I saw that Lori lived in North Carolina — more than an eight-hour flight from my home in the UK.
My shoulders slumped.
Then I laughed and thought: How stupid, you don’t know her to feel disappointed.
But I felt an instant attraction to Lori, and when we became Facebook friends and started messaging privately, I learnt that she was gay too.
We had lots in common, and both had children from a previous heterosexual relationship.
In the days that followed, messages flew back and forth between us.
When we video-called, there was no awkwardness between us. We laughed and talked for hours.
‘I feel like I’ve known you forever,’ Lori said.
I smiled.
‘Me too,’ I said. ‘There was an instant connection for me.’
We shared our life stories and despite there being almost 4000 miles between us, I’d never felt closer to someone.
The moment I’d spotted Lori’s profile picture I’d guessed she was in her 50s.
She confirmed that she was aged 54.
‘Does that bother you?’ she asked.
Lori was 23 years older than me.
But I replied: ‘That’s definitely not an issue. I’ve always liked older women.’
I joked and confessed to having a crush on the 85-year-old actress Julie Andrews.
I said: ‘Now that would be an age gap!’
We sent each other pictures and video clips and Lori was fascinating and funny.
Then one day, I was having a cuppa with my friend Ruth at my house when I received a message from Lori.
It was a screenshot of a message she’d sent to someone else, telling them that she loved me.
My heart soared.
‘Why are you looking so happy?’ Ruth asked.
‘Oh, it’s Lori,’ I replied.
Ruth smiled.
‘You seem really happy when you talk about her,’ she said.
After Ruth left, I video-called Lori.
When her face appeared on the screen, I said: ‘I love you too.’
Days later, stealing a line from Tom Hanks’ character in You’ve Got Mail, Lori asked: ‘Do you think we should meet?’
After two months of chatting online and over video-calls, Lori flew to London.
I stood in Heathrow airport and scanned the faces of everyone coming through the doors at arrivals.
I felt nervous and excited.
Then our eyes met through the crowd. Lori ran to me and we hugged over the barrier.
We travelled by train to Brighton.
On the journey my cheeks ached from smiling.
‘I can’t actually believe you’re here,’ I said.
We spent days walking hand in hand on the beach and watching the sun set on the pier.
Then we travelled to Paris, where we sipped champagne and kissed at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
But after two weeks, Lori’s holiday came to an end.
We travelled back to Heathrow airport, and it broke my heart to wave goodbye.
I cried on the journey back to my home in Highbridge, Suffolk.
But after Lori had arrived home, I video-called.
‘I’m booking my tickets for a flight over,’ I said.
‘That’s great,’ Lori said. ‘I miss you so much already.’
The following month, I flew to North Carolina.
There I met Lori’s eldest children, Kaylee and Angie.
Angie was a month younger than me.
But she wasn’t bothered by the age difference between me and her mum.
‘I’m just happy she’s met someone,’ she said.
Lori and I rented a place in the Blue Ridge Mountains, and one night as we snuggled on the balcony and watched the fireflies dance, I turned to Lori.
‘I’d like to marry you,’ I said. ‘Will you marry me?’
Lori’s face lit up.
‘Yes!’ she said.
I didn’t have a ring to give Lori, but that didn’t matter.
Our engagement made my return home to the UK more heart-breaking.
When I told friends and family that I planned to marry Lori, they were shocked.
It had all happened very quickly, and
Lori was six years younger than my mum Julie, 60.
But friends and family supported our relationship.
‘She clearly makes you very happy,’ Mum said. ‘It’s rare to find true love like this.’
I threw myself into wedding planning.
Then, three months after proposing, I returned to America, and Lori and I exchanged our vows on a beach, as Kaylee took photographs.
We both wore white wedding gowns and it was the perfect day. But again, I had to return to the UK alone.
Back home, I counted down the days until Lori and I could be together again.
Then, after 54 days, her visa was approved.
She came to live with me and became a bonus mum to my two children.
We settled into a happy family life. But there were times when our relationship raised eyebrows.
On one occasion, a taxi driver asked: ‘Is that your mum?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘She’s my partner.’
‘Your business partner?’ he asked.
Lori and I laughed.
When Lori had to go into hospital for an operation, a nurse looked at me and told Lori: ‘Your daughter will have to wait outside.’
Now, people sometimes stare when we kiss or hold hands in the street, and it’s difficult to tell if that’s because we’re a gay couple or because of the age gap between us.
But in many ways, I’m like the older person in the relationship.
Lori is always downloading the latest apps. But I’m clueless when it comes to technology and prefer to spend my time gardening or baking.
We’re both writers and have created a literary and arts journal called Tipping the Scales.
I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. But I still can’t believe a Facebook comment led me to falling in love with someone half a world away and 23 years older than me.
Lori and I bonded over romantic films but ended up creating a love story of our own. And it’s better than anything I could have ever imagined.