Shauna was desperate to be a mum, and holding out for a miracle. Then one came right after another…
Plonking myself on the sofa, I listened for any sounds on the baby monitor.
But there was silence.
‘Everything’s in the usual place,’ breezed my auntie, putting her coat on.
She was heading out for the evening, and had asked me to babysit her kids.
‘I know you’ll cope with them if they wake up,’ she smiled. ‘You’re a complete natural. You’re meant to be a mum.’
I was one of five and loved babysitting, regularly looking after children for my aunties and uncles too.
Even nappy changes didn’t bother me!
Later, when one of the kids woke up, I rocked them back to sleep, gazing at them, and imagining what it would be like to hold my own children in my arms.
Being a mum would be wonderful, I thought.
But when I was 17, I went to see my GP.
I’d been suffering from heavy periods, tummy cramps and headaches.
And then a period began and never seemed to end.
It went on for months and months.
After undergoing tests, I finally had answers.
‘You’ve got endometriosis,’ my doctor said, explaining that tissue similar to that growing inside my womb was growing in other parts of my body.
‘I’m sorry, but you may struggle to get pregnant,’ he added.
Tears pricked at the thought of me never hugging my own babies.
So many people had told me I was meant to be a mum.
Was I destined to look after other people’s kids, yet never have my own?
'Hello, I'm your mummy'
But a year later, I gawped in wonder at a pregnancy test.
‘I think I’m pregnant,’ I told my boyfriend, Jack, grinning at his stunned face.
Despite the odds being against me, I’d somehow managed to conceive!
Then there was more news…
‘Two of them,’ smiled the sonographer.
Twins! I was having twins!
Cradling my arms over my growing belly, I savoured the feeling of being pregnant.
I couldn’t wait to hold my precious pair.
Only, at 14 weeks, tragedy struck.
I had a miscarriage.
‘Is that my only chance gone?’ I sobbed to Jack.
I knew that women who had endometriosis were at higher risk of suffering a miscarriage.
As the weeks and months followed, I mourned the loss of my babies.
One year on, I discovered I was expecting again.
Through my elation, though, I was anxious the same thing would happen.
Soon it was time for a scan.
As the sonographer probed my tummy, she turned to me and grinned.
‘There’s two of them in there,’ she smiled.
Twins again!
I hadn’t been able to find out if the first set of twins, which I’d lost, had been girls or boys.
‘Both boys,’ said the sonographer this time. ‘ And they’re identical.’
Two lovely boys, I thought, in wonder.
My pregnancy carried on smoothly, and doctors decided I should be induced to give birth naturally at 33 weeks.
I imagined myself cradling a baby in each arm.
‘Not long now,’ I said to Jack.
I was warned the babies would likely need to go into special care when they were born.
But once in hospital to be induced, the epidural failed to take effect properly.
‘You’re going to need an emergency C-section,’ said the doctor.
My heart thumped in fear as I was wheeled into theatre with Jack, and my mum, Amanda.
The anaesthetic took effect and my eyes closed…
Groggily, I opened them and looked around.
Realising I was on my own, I began to panic.
Are my boys safe? I fretted.
‘They’re fine,’ said a voice, and I sighed with relief.
Frankie had been born first, weighing 4lb 6oz.
One minute later, Fenton followed, weighing 4lb 7oz.
They were healthy and didn’t need special care.
Soon I was holding my gorgeous boys, just as I’d imagined.
‘Hello, I’m your mummy,’ I whispered.
A week later, I left hospital.
Life became a juggling act of nappies, bottles and burping.
Tiredness filled my every pore as I dressed and undressed the boys.
But any fatigue I felt was overtaken by my feeling of being so blessed.
I was the mum I’d always wanted to be.
Sometimes I would think back to the prediction the doctor had made when I’d first been diagnosed with endometriosis.
Now I had two children, and the joy was every bit as wonderful as I’d imagined it would be.
By six months, the boys had begun to sleep through the night.
But then I began to have some familiar symptoms…
I was going to be a mum again!
It was so quick after having twins.
I’m used to looking after two — I’ll cope with one more, I reasoned to myself.
Me and Jack were going through a rough patch, though.
At the gender-reveal scan, I readied myself to find out if my baby was a girl or boy.
But then, de-ja vu…
‘There’s one, two, maybe three in there!’ said the sonographer.
Eh? More than one! I thought.
Eventually it was confirmed there were two babies.
Both boys.
Identical.
Just like the last time.
I was numb, but later collapsed into tears.
How can I cope with four boys? I thought.
Back home I cried and cried.
By now I knew I was going to be a single mum.
I was heartbroken.
But then a steely determination began to course through me.
All I’d ever wanted was to be a mum.
And I would be the best I possibly could.
I named the boys Louie and Luca.
And when I found out that Louie was growing more slowly than Luca, because of less blood flow, I found an even stronger determination.
Doctors asked if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy, but I shook my head firmly.
‘They’ll be given every chance,’ I said.
As my tummy grew, I reckoned it was time to tell Frankie and Fenton they were going to be big brothers.
‘There’s babies in there,’ I said to them, stroking my tummy.
‘Babas!’ cheered Frankie.
And he kept repeating it.
It was so cute.
My mum was with me when I gave birth at 33 weeks to Louie, weighing 4lb 6oz, and to Luca, five minutes later, weighing 5lb 2oz.
In 14 months, I’d given birth to two sets of twins.
Thankfully, neither Louie nor Luca needed special care.
Back home, I dressed the babies and went upstairs to fetch Frankie and Fenton to meet their new brothers.
‘We need kind hands,’ I said to them, explaining the babies were small.
When they saw them, their eyes grew wide in sheer delight.
Today, they are fabulous big brothers — they adore their Louie and Luca, even pretending to sterilise bottles when they play in their toy kitchen.
‘Can you get me a nappy, Fenton?’ I ask, and off he toddles to fetch one.
Safe to say, life is hectic and I must change 20 nappies a day.
But I treasure every moment being with my boys.
Fenton and Luca are mischievous, while Frankie shows his emotions and Louie is quiet.
My specialist thinks my eggs are producing double, which is why I had twins twice!
And it is a lot. But whenever I’m floored by fatigue, I take one look at the beautiful boys in front of me.
They’re a miracle multiplied by four!
Shauna Hughes, 22, Rochdale, Lancashire