When your other half plays away, for most it would be hard to forgive and forget. But Mercedes, Alice and Kaye have each given their blokes a second chance...
Three in a bed
My partner Jim, 33, handed me a glass of wine, then sat down next to me on the sofa.
‘There’s something I need to tell you,’ he said.
Then he added: ‘It’s about Beth.’
Beth lived with us and had been my best mate for the last 10 years.
She’d been my rock when my parents had died, shortly after each other.
Now I was frightened something had happened to her too?
But…
‘Beth and I have been having an affair,’ Jim blurted.
And there was worse.
‘The thing is… we had sex in your bed,’ he continued. ‘While you were in it.’
I was on anti-depressants that sometimes left me groggy and sleepy.
'We had sex in your bed'
They’d been going at it, right next to me — and I hadn’t even stirred!
Jim admitted it had been going on for months, but now the guilt was too much.
‘You’re disgusting!’ I raged. ‘Get out!’
I rang his mum to come and collect him, then scooped up Beth’s belongings into bin liners, and chucked them in the garden.
She gathered up her stuff in the middle of the night, without even as much as a ‘sorry’.
I tried to stay strong, for the sake our six-year-old son.
But I’d been betrayed by the two people I’d trusted most, and barely wanted to leave the house.
Then three years later, one of our closest friends died of Covid.
When Jim turned up at mine, we just looked at each other, and burst into tears.
United by grief, we started talking, and I realised how broken Jim had been by my parents deaths too.
We started spending more time together, and when he suggested getting back together, I agreed.
‘But you’ve got to prove yourself,’ I warned.
He left me little love notes, and whisked me off for romantic meals.
One year on, he still dotes on me.
When Beth sees me around, she gives me dirty looks — as if I’m the one in the wrong!
She must be well bitter that Jim and I have stuck it out.
Mercedes Mayne, 32, Camden, London
Jim says: ‘I felt guilty it was with her best friend. But Mercedes is the love of my life, and I’ll do anything it takes to make her trust me again.’
The work wife
Wiping away tears, I looked at my husband Dom, 33.
‘If you want to be with her,’ I said, ‘…then go and be with her,’
We’d been together 10 years, married for six, and had six kids between us.
Our youngest was just seven months old.
But Dom had just confessed he’d grown close to a work colleague called Kirsty.
He insisted they hadn’t had sex yet, but would grab secret kisses.
Then he added: ‘She’s my soul mate’.
Soul mate?
That cut me to the core.
Dom and I were both crying, but somehow through the pain and anger, I stayed calm.
He looked so distraught as he packed up a bag and went to stay at his mum’s, I actually felt sorry for him.
‘You should be fighting for your marriage!’ a friend insisted.
She wanted me to confront Kirsty, but what good would that do?
Dom kept texting to say he missed me.
Then two days later, he typed: I can’t do this. I want to come home.
So I told him he needed to explore a life with Kirsty.
I wasn’t playing hard to get — I just wanted to be sure he really did want to come back.
But within hours Dom was back home, and I made him text Kirsty to tell her it was over.
Those next days, I asked Dom for all the gory details and checked out Kirsty’s pic on Facebook.
She was single, and younger than me.
It was so out of character for Dom, and I realised he’d been seeking a quick escape from the daily grind of family life.
Five months on, Dom still works alongside Kirsty, but if ever I feel insecure, he reassures me. He’s even offered to get all his texts sent to my iPhone.
But we talk so much more honestly now, and we’re taking it one day at a time.
Alice Lacy, 29
Dom, 33, says: ‘I was surprised by how calm Alice was, she was more concerned with my feelings. I made the biggest mistake in my life. Thank God I have my family back.’
For tips on how to survive an affair, visit the website of relationship counsellor Dr Kathy Nickerson at drkathynickerson.com
Shrinking secrets
My mobile beeped with a text — then my whole world came crashing down.
It was a message from a friend.
She’d written: I thought you should know… Your Ian’s been having an affair with Anna.
Anna was a local woman, but I still couldn’t believe it, and confronted my husband.
‘I wouldn’t do that to you!’ Ian insisted, denying everything.
But we’d been together 20 years, and I could tell he was lying.
Pulling on my coat, I marched out, slamming the front door behind me.
As I walked along, I felt horrible.
Yet although I couldn’t excuse what Ian had done — I understood it.
Over the years, whenever we’d faced challenging times, I’d comforted myself with food, eventually spiralling to 27 stone and a dress size 34.
For two years, I’d even been a recluse — holed up in my bedroom — and Ian had looked after our two sons, and our home.
He’d become more my carer than a hubby, and our love life had drizzled to nothing.
Then a friend had ended up in hospital — due to complications from her weight — and it had been my wake-up call.
I’d finally signed up to a weight-loss plan and the pounds were falling off.
'I've been to see your other woman'
But now Ian was having an affair!
Determined to know exactly what was going on, I came up with a plan.
Back home I told Ian: ‘I’ve been to see your other woman. She told me everything.’
It was a lie, but he immediately admitted everything.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Ian said, shoulders slumping. ‘I was lonely. And you and me hardly spoke.’
We spent the rest of the evening having a tearful heart to heart.
I still loved Ian and a few days later, I said: ‘Let’s try again.’
Instead of eating to ease the pain, I stuck to my diet — determined to change my life.
I realised I’d pushed Ian away, because I didn’t feel I deserved him.
Five years on, I weigh 14 stone, am a size 14, and have so much more confidence.
Ian’s recently suffered multiple strokes, but we’ll get through his recovery together.
We’ll never give up on each other.
Kaye Catterall, 52, Warrington, Cheshire
Ian says: ‘I’m the guilty party but I never stopped loving Kaye. I immediately cut off all contact with the other lady. Kaye’s the crown of our family.’