When Erica suddenly became a widow and single mum to seven kids, she never thought she’d find love again. But was someone unexpected playing matchmaker?
Lying on the hospital bed, I smiled up at my husband Tony as the sonographer scanned my belly.
‘There’s your baby,’ she said, pointing at the screen.
‘Baby number seven,’ I marvelled. ‘I can’t believe it.’
Tony and I were already parents to Landon, 13, Emma, 11, Lily, 10, Sophie, nine, Tanner, seven, and Amelia, five. We loved children and had always wanted a big brood.
‘I hope I’ll be around to meet him,’ Tony said, tears in his eyes.
I squeezed his hand.
Tony had been fighting brain cancer on and off for eight years. His latest prognosis didn’t look good. We didn’t know how long he had left.
‘I don’t want you to be lonely when I’m gone,’ he told me earnestly one day. ‘If you fall in love again, that’s OK.’
‘I can’t imagine that ever happening,’ I said.
‘Then you’ll be a great single mum,’ Tony assured me.
Sadly, Tony passed away just two months later, when I was five months pregnant. He was just 31.
Our beautiful family was ripped apart.
Thankfully, we’d been blessed with an amazing support network of friends and family, who rallied round to help.
My parents moved nearby, and my dad even converted their basement into an apartment for all of us to live in. We were extraordinarily lucky.
While the kids tried to come to terms with the fact that their daddy wasn’t coming back, I also had to deal with my own grief.
A few weeks after Tony’s death, I joined a Facebook group for widows and widowers. A lot of the members were also single parents and were happy to share advice and offer comfort.
It was a real lifeline.
The months passed and the kids and I eventually moved into our own home. We put up plenty of photos of Tony and, whenever the kids were missing him, I’d tell them stories.
‘Do you remember how Daddy used to lift you up on his shoulders and run around the house with you?’ I asked Lily one day.
‘Yes. Daddy was so silly,’ she giggled.
A year after Tony’s passing, I was scrolling through Facebook one day when a message pinged up in my inbox.
Hi, my name’s Spencer, it read. I’m a father of four and have recently lost my wife in a car crash. I wondered if you had any advice for me.
'I don't want you to be lonely'
My heart went out to Spencer. His wife Aimee’s passing had come as a huge shock.
Suddenly Spencer had to raise their children Brayden, 13, Harper, nine, Avery, seven, and Bexley, five, on his own.
We began messaging back and forth and, in time, we became friends.
One day, Spencer messaged me with some news.
The kids and I are moving across the country for work, he said. We’re going to be living in your neck of the woods.
We can finally meet face to face! I typed back excitedly.
A month or so later, Spencer and his family made the move.
We arranged to meet up for a hike, just the two of us.
‘It’s so good to finally meet you,’ I smiled, enveloping Spencer in a huge hug.
‘It’s about time,’ he grinned.
Neither of us were nervous. In fact, as we started chatting, it was like we’d known each other for years.
And when the kids met for the first time a few days later, they got on really well too.
Landon and Brayden really hit it off, bonding over their favourite music and sports. More importantly, they were able to talk to each other about what it was like to lose a parent.
After that, we met up regularly.
I suspected Spencer was interested in more than just friendship, but after Tony’s death I’d put all thoughts of romance to the back of my mind.
‘You two would make a great couple,’ Mum smiled after meeting Spencer for the first time.
‘It’s not like that, Mum,’ I said, laughing off the suggestion. ‘We’re just good friends.’
One day, as I was watching Spencer run around with the kids, my heart
swelled as he tossed the little ones into the air.
Then he picked up a water gun and chased them around, squirting them as they squealed in delight.
He really was the perfect dad. And the perfect man.
I’m such an idiot, I thought as the realisation dawned on me. Why am I not dating Spencer?
The feeling caught me off guard. Then I remembered Tony’s words.
‘If you fall in love again, that’s OK.’
It’s as if he’d played matchmaker from beyond the grave.
Later that evening, I decided to confess my feelings to Spencer.
‘I have this burning feeling that a relationship with you is right,’ I told him. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think we should give it a go,’ Spencer beamed back.
Dating Spencer was better than I could have imagined. We were perfect together.
Landon and Brayden were over the moon about our budding romance. They often joked about becoming brothers.
Only Emma was a little bit apprehensive. She’d been a real daddy’s girl and Tony had been her world.
‘Spencer’s not replacing your daddy,’ I explained to her softly. ‘No one ever could. And you can always talk to me about him.’
My words seemed to comfort Emma and, in time, she came around to the idea of another man in my life.
Two months after we’d started dating, we all went to see a Christmas lights display.
As we made our way towards a beautifully illuminated pergola, I saw my parents and siblings standing under it.
I wonder what they’re doing here? I thought.
Then I saw Spencer. He was holding a bouquet of flowers.
As we got nearer, he handed a flower to each of the kids. Then he got down on one knee.
‘Erica, I love you,’ he said, his eyes shining. ‘Will you marry me?’
‘Yes!’ I squealed, bursting into tears.
Everyone started applauding and cheering.
It was the most magical night.
Spencer and I didn’t want a big, elaborate wedding. After all, we’d both been married before.
So just six weeks later, we tied the knot surrounded by family.
‘We’re finally brothers!’ Brayden grinned to Landon after the ceremony.
Later, we celebrated with more family and friends.
During the reception, I looked over to see Spencer dancing with Sophie. It was the sweetest thing ever.
Straight after the wedding, we all moved into a new home together.
The first six months felt like one constant slumber party. It was chaotic, but blissful.
Then one day, Spencer and I heard some of the kids squabbling in the living room.
‘Aw, they’re fighting like real siblings,’ I said, giving Spencer a squeeze.
In time, Spencer and I adopted each other’s kids.
If something ever happened to either Spencer or myself, we wanted the children to know they’d be looked after and loved.
On the day of the adoption, Lily beamed up at Spencer.
‘Now I can legally say you’re my dad. I’m going to call you Daddy all the time,’ she said.
My heart burst with pride. If I’d ever doubted getting together with Spencer, this reassured me that I’d done the right thing.
These days, life isn’t any less chaotic.
Sometimes it feels like there’s a never-ending cycle
of laundry, and our food bills are eye-watering.
We’ve even had to buy a 15-passenger car to ferry the kids around.
We also appeared on a TV show called The Blended Bunch. Having a camera crew come into our home for weeks made it even more of a mad house, but we wanted to share our extraordinary story with the world.
I never thought I’d find myself a mum to 11 kids virtually overnight. But I wouldn’t have it any other way — and I know I have Tony’s blessing.
Erica Shemwell, 34